Demeaning Happiness

It's natural for many people to feel as if they being dwarfed among this extravagant world. So many things are happening that it becomes a challenge just to keep up with the global issues. Let's take a step back though, how do you feel among your social circle? Are you still feeling dwarfed? Is everyone achieving what they want? While you're still running in circles?

I know that there are many people who do feel this way. I did, actually, I think I still do. I was skimming through chat logs with a particular friend of mine and I came across a pair of compliments they (gotta cover their gender in case it becomes obvious!) directed towards me. Their choice of words, the meaning behind them - they embraced such positive connotations. And the thing is, they were directed towards me. Plain old me. Nothing special. Just a teenage girl trying to figure out who she is, like the rest of them. 

As I was recording those words in my diary, I couldn't help but grin. This person really told me that I was worthy of something, that they wanted me in their life. It was, really, an amazing feeling. It was just that feeling of being something more than you thought you were. Something valuable. And you become that much more grateful of the person who said it.

Everyone yearns for that kind of feeling, everyone, absolutely everyone. No matter how beautiful they are, how amazing, or famous. It can't be believed unless it's been said. And I believe that every one deserves to be complimented. And they should have a compliment which they can categorise as being their favourite and ultimately memorise it. Because everyone has a heart, a brain and blood flowing through them - we're all equal. We deserve the same love. Coming from the ones who we love.

And those compliments from that friend remain my favourite until this very day. It's been almost two years. Not on compliment tops it.

Oh, and if you know it's you I'm talking about, I love you!

Year 11's insane. Seriously, I don't have much time for anything now. I have a couple of exams coming up in the next two weeks. Sigh, I hope I do well!

I probably won't be writing much on my event-less life, but I might go back to my philosophical-ish posts here and there only to keep my writing skills at a level in which I like it at.

Just a quick, somewhat update before I head to sleep. Goodnight people..who won't read this..

I wrote this last night, going to post it now.

This week went by so so so so slowly.. I'm going to quickly recap this week.

Bio is getting so much better. I'm really enjoying it. And my teacher isn't that bad after all, he's actually pretty cool! I guess you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover! My class is annoying though.. I don't like it.

I'm getting away with not doing my homework a lot. Especially in maths. I'm behind three exercises and my teacher still ticked me off as completing all homework, ehhehe :$ I'm going to try to catch up really soon, this weekend if possible. I hope I can. Pretty packed with everything!

My internet is being the biggest bitch these days. Seriously, I can't even download a TV show without it disconnecting! Urgh! I'm getting really sick and tired of this! Stupid Optus! URGH!

I had some time to think today and I went through photos of exactly a year ago. I miss how things were back then. A batch of my favourite photos are from that time. I can't believe how much things have changed. We were all so pure and close then. Now it honestly feels like no one really cares any more. Now, it's just about ourself.

So mucb to do in so little time

I shouldn't be blogging considering my work load and the fact that it's 11pm. Nearly anyway. But I decided to call it a night. Spent five hours on work tonight. Pretty insane night.

Hmm, well year 11's work load is getting crazy. It really is a huge jump from year 10. Oh well, gotta suck it up!

I dropped Chemistry, relieved I did so. It bores me so much! Now I have free periods to study..or just get some fresh air.

Truong is just doing me in the head. The work is getting really hard. And I know I gotta step up my game this year. Fell behind a lot since I transferred classes..

I haven't been working out a lot.. I'm gonna resume my routine of working out and eating healthy. And thst means eating really less for dinner. And that's what I did and I am so hungry! Hmm, well, I want to be skinny so I gotta suck it up! And being skinny will shut some people up. Urgh.

My process on saving up is working! Yay! I don't remember the last time I saved up.. It feels nice to have money and know not to use it!

I looked through the UAC 2012 book and the course I want is so high! I know I won't be able to reach it, but there's no harm in trying! Sigh, it seems so out of reach though. I'm too dumb for it.. I know the ATAR will change by 2013, I hope it drops! But the ATAR I saw was for a course at USYD, I want to go to UNSW. UTS offers the course at a much lower ATAR, but I don't want to go there for my course.. I didn't see UNSW's cut off for it, hopefully it isn't that high! It probably is though..

Promises and vows never to be taken seriously

Hmm, today was an average day. Sport was fun, we played netball. We played with the boys and Paula's group. We lost with the boys, I mean they put Stevan as GS when I was GK! Like what the hell! That's just unfair! He's like two heads taller than me! The game with Paula's group was really laid back though. I was surprised that Paula spoke to me and she didn't find me intimidating! Yay! Hehe! I was so happy when she made the effort to talk to me!

I studied for my tutor exam. I remember my formulas now. Having a harder time memorising the triple angles though. It's so complex! Now I just need Jessica to go through double angle with me and to just keep doing questions. I hope I at least pass in this exam. The Hurlstone class did really bad..

We know we care, but we're just sitting on the sidelines

The first week of senior year has passed! It gradually got better. Maths is just extremely slow revision. Bio's actually pretty good if you really listen. Ancient's okay so far, we're just doing booklet work. Chem's BORING. Business became heaps better after I found out the other class has Nath, so we got the better teachers! HAHA! English, as usual, is awesome! I'm really enjoying English, I really can't wait to go more into journeys/gothic.

Last week in Maths tutor, My Mai asked if anyone was doing 4U English, and I put my hand up. And everyone stared at me like a freak :( So yeah, I'm the only one doing 4U English in my class. Mr Mai said that they have one of those crazy people every year..he called me crazy! :( He wants me to give him my story after I finish it..which he won't read HAHAH I don't know how I'm going to cope with 3U Maths and 4U English, going to be a work load!

Malika told me that people with 14 units have to drop a subject. I don't know if it's confirmed that we have to or not, but Peter said we have to as well since 14 units is a lot. I don't know what to drop. I want to drop Chem, but I was planning to change that to Legal. I want to keep Bio and Ancient. That leaves Business, but the thing is I'm pretty sure I'm going to be needing it.. Decisions decisions decisions..

There's a new girl in my grade! Her name's Tabatha, she's Spanish and American, how cool is that?! She's probably the first real white person in our school. She's actually 18 going 19 this year. She stopped her studies to go travelling for a year. Oh my gosh, I was so jealous when she told me! She's so bubbly! In the first few minutes I met her, I loved her instantly! She's such a mood lifter!

I finally got my webcam! Yay! I don't have to use my old shit one anymore! It feels so nice updating my things!

And I finally got Eun Jeong's address! Yay! I can send the photos and such to her now! And ask her for a family (with the neighbours!) photo since I didn't get to take one! I miss her family! They're all so bubbly and kind. And her neighbours were so welcoming. I got along with one of them really well cause she knew English..and guess what? I don't know her name! I didn't really get to call her by her name much and I always missed it when Eun Jeong or Eun Ju said it HAHAH Oh well, I hope to give them letters really soon! Speaking of Korean things, I miss Miss Jun :(

On Tuesday, my parents bought a new TV for their room. I want one! I actually took a photo of it, but I can't be bothered to import it to my computer.

I think that's all I have to blog about.

I miss you and I'm too scared to do anything

29th
I went to Strathfield with a few of my friends for Moochi. I haven't been to Strathfield for ages! I missed going there! It's like Sydney's Korea! It made me miss my trip to Korea so much! Anyway, we went to eat at the usual restaurant I go to when I'm at Strathfield. I don't know what it's called though, I forgot. Linda and Julie ordered ddeokbokki, it's so nice! I haven't had it in so long! Alex ordered something and it was really hot, oh my god, he was sweating balls! HAHHA Then we went to Moochi, I ordered a massive green tea and pomegranate with mochi, blueberry, strawberry and lychee. I shared it with Malika. It's so yummy! I've been loving fro yo so much!

After that, we went back to Vivian's. We didn't do much. Just bummed around. A lot. I accidentally threw a phone at Alex's head, oh my god, I felt so bad! Kevin and I threw things at each other a lot. And everyone nerfed me! Like what the hell! Around 7, I walked home with Julie and a few others. I made a pit stop at Kevin's to go to the toilet..and to feed his turtle HAHA

I walked back to Julie's with Alex. Julie was on the bike so she was ahead. Alex and I had a good talk.

When I got to Julie's, she harassed me! Nah, it was a really good night! I stayed until 10-ish. We had a good talk, caught up, blah blah.

30th
I threw an all nighter before school. My first day of school. Like what the hell?! It was such a long night! I listened to music, watched wrestling and played games all night. Oh, and I tossed and turned.

School was so shit.. I have Bef for 3 unit. Like what the actual fuck?! Who lets him teach?! Especially seniors! Urghh! It's so annoying! I have pretty shit teachers. How sad.

Anyway, in general, school's okay now. It's not so bad anymore. I LOVE ENGLISH! It's so much fun! There's a lot of writing! Yay! I know I'm gonna get lazy for it though.. HAHAH Yeah, I'm lazy to blog now!