Update!

I just got back from Katie's BBQ and while I was there, I realised that it had been agesssssss since we all gathered together. Not everyone was there, but it felt really nice to be with everyone else outside of school. It was super fun! All our childish games played after such a loong time, definitely a nice feeling! I hope we'll be able to have a gathering with everyone soon!

Senior year's just around the corner and we will be crammed up for time and there'll be less gatherings. And people have tutor, work and study sessions and all that. Sigh, time's going by pretty quickly. It just seems like a few days ago that it was New Year at Phi's place! And, now a few more months, we'll be having another party!

Urghhh..I gained weight. Like so much of it. I'm such a blob now. And what a time to gain weight! Summer's around the freakin' corner! Mmm, going to re-motivate myself and lose the weight again. I'm able to resist myself from jumping at the chance of junk food, so that's a good start to my diet. I hope I can keep it consistent, if not, there's no freakin' point in doing this. I'm not going to completely push myself though. I'm scared to lose my assets.

I'm going Korea on Monday! I don't feel excited though. Not yet anyway. I haven't packed yet. And like, I don't know what to pack. It's like early-ish Autumn over there, so the weather's going to vary a lot.

I may or may not post later today, so this may be my last post for the next 10 days! Not like anyone reads this anyway.. HAHA

Tagged!

Things I'm insecure about/dislike about myself

1. My weight. I am crazy insecure about it. I'm not a stick thin girl. I never have been. I got fat sticking out of places I don't want it to to be. And under this, there are many things I'm insecure about, which will be listed down there. :)
2. My tummy. It's not flat. And everything I eat goes straight to there..unfortunately.. Oh, oh and it's really really pale.. :| :(
3. My legs, they are beyond stubby! So short *sniff sniff This is an odd insecurity though, I'm insecure, but I'm still able to wear dresses, skirts and shorts.
4. My arms. Oooh, they fat. I want to tone them.
5. My nose..it's big. 
6. My head shape..it's big *sniff sniff
7. I'm a really awkward person.. HAHAH
8. I can't mess around to the point of extreme immaturity, so it's hard for me to get along with some people.
9. The fact I'm a money spender.
10. I have really bad temper.
11. I throw people death stares unconsciously. Yeahh..that's pretty bad.. :( At least I used to, I'm unsure now, but I'm still trying to look at people and smile HAHAH!
12. There are loads more. I just can't be bothered to name them all.

Things I'm satisfied with

1. The amount of muscle I've gained within my body. I've been toning my body, so, the muscles are developing on my arms and legs. Mainly my thighs though.
2. My nails, they shape's pretty :$
3. The fact that I have something in the chest area. HAHAH! And it's not too big either. (A) :D
4. My eyelashes, they're long and curly hehe ^^
5. I've been told I have a nice smile? Yeahh.. HAHAH
6. I'm not socially awkward. Yayy! :D So yeah, I love meeting new people!
7. My maturity level to an extent.
8. I've been told that my sense of style is really out there and unique, so I'm glad for that :)
9. My face shape, it has potential to be defined well. I like my jawline too :$ HAHA

Things I'm insecure about, yet glad I have it

Okay, it isn't that big, but I'm a tad glad that I wasn't born stick thin. Cause it kinda gives me that challenge of losing weight and altering my outer appearance to my desire. Yeah, sure it will be hard work, but it all pays off in the end does it not? I know this isn't much, but yeahhh.. Can't wait to be thin..

Okay, so I'm going to change this tag a bit, and write about what I think about appearance, inner beauty and that cliche stuff.

I would love to be pretty. I would love to be complimented on how I look. Everyone does. I think it's important to look groomed. You're going to be judged in every single direction in life. So why not make the most out of it and make it 'seem' like you're civilised? Taking a few moments out of life to make yourself look decent doesn't change much of your routine.

And there's this idea that being thin means looking good. I'm not gonna lie, I push myself to want to be thin cause I do think it's pretty. But it's not always the case. Some people are 'bigger' and they look just as beautiful. Having a little muffin top won't hurt. Having mini love handles won't either. But, like everything else, there's got to be a limit. Because being too 'big' will cause health problems. But, this is something that can be changed. Starting with half an hour a day of basic walking could help even.

And of course, there are those little features that are impossible to change. Learn to love 'em, that's all you can do! And don't whinge about them, it's gets annoying to other people.

Anywayyy, you can look freakin' amazing, but you may just have the ugliest heart. And when an ugly heart is visible, what is evident to the eyes is no longer a pretty picture. Yes, it is cliche, but it is true, you can't be pretty if you don't act like someone who's pretty. And when I say 'act like someone who's pretty', I don't mean the I-know-I'm-the-prettiest-bitch-here and all that attitude, I mean the real beauty. The humble, considerate, generous, kind one.

Yeah, this is my take on this section of life. If I could sum this up in a few sentences it'd be this:

Love what you've been blessed with. Alter those which you're unable to love. And without a pretty heart, all the hard work will go to waste.

What to do today

Moon Festival is today. Urgh. I hate this day of the year. I wasn't going to go, but there's not much to do at home anyway. And there's fooooooooooood! :)

I'm still wondering whether to go to Star City or not. I want to, but it's so expensive. And I'm so freakin' lazy! And I don't even know if my parents will let. I got told by my Dad last night cause I was PMS-ing. Urgh. Well, I couldn't help it okay?!

I'm so lazy. I don't wanna go anywhere! :( But I want to get out of the house..

TOTM, you're annoying. Piss off :(

Infinity and beyooooooond! keke!

100 little facts you may or may not know about me! :

1. I am currently obsessed with velvet, collars, chiffon, studs and pops of colours
2. Late night phone calls are the best! Ones that drag on for hours especially. I miss them.. :(
3. In the future, if I ever break up with a person, I want to end it on good terms. Like in the movies, how they hug each other afterwards. It's nice.
4. I wish, one day, I would be able to express my feelings to the one I have feelings for face to face without having any fear. Yes, like in the movies.
5. I know fairy tales endings aren't true, but I still believe in them.
6. I believe you only need family and friends to be happy. Maybe food. HAHAH :$
7. I casually linked my arms with a male friend a few weeks ago. Always wanted to do that! Only holding hands left. :)
8. I'm neither a realist nor a dreamer. There are times when I'm forced to jump from one to the other.
9. Refusing to date isn't such a bad thing.
10. I flirt. Yeah, so what?
11. Even though I don't talk to Jordan much anymore, I still consider him my best friend. Even if he doesn't.
12. I still take Jordan's remark of having to talk to my future boyfriend before I can say anything in mind. Even though he said it'd be weird for the guy. No, Jordan, I'm not sucking up to you.
13. I wish I was able to kiss a male friend on the cheek without them freaking out or it meaning anything. Too bad the guys here are too immature for that..
14. I refuse to let anyone carry be cause I know I'm heavy. But obviously, some people still do. *glares* Oh, and I get kind of scared as well. Maybe cause I'm not used to it. But yeahhh. But I have to admit, it's quite nice being carried HAHAH!
15. I hate the word 'fat'. Yeah, long story. Kinda. Might post about it when I feel like it. I don't mind it when you're messing with friends though.
16. I love it when you don't talk to someone you used to be extremely close to for a loooooooooong time and when you do, you pick off from exactly where you left off.
17. I also love it when you don't talk to someone much, but when you're in some sort of trouble, they'll always be there for you.
18. I still don't know how to ride a bike. Cause that's how I roll ;)
19. I don't like it when people post about their problems on Facebook. Like, bitch, shut up.
20. Oh, and I hate it when people post things about being so love sick. Shut up. Urgh.
21. Oh oh, and I also hate it when people mention things you really don't want others to know about. Just shut up if you don't want anyone to know. Jeez.
22. I'm able to make up with my parents in under an hour. Cause no matter how much we argue, we'll always talk it out, and laugh about it afterwards.
23. I can admit that I'm a bitch. Call me a slut or a whore, however, and die. Buut, Putijak that faggot just started calling me this, so I guess I don't mind it when it's a joke within friends.
24. My self esteem isn't as low as everyone thinks it is. I might make a post on this as well, I don't know.
25. I used to trust people really easily, and now? It takes me a gazillion years.
26. I used to be easy to figure out as well. Now, I don't know. That's up to you to figure out.
27. I used to be able to consider people as my best friend quite easily as well. Yeah, not anymore.
28. Love at first sight is a bunch of shit.
29. To me, teenage loves are usually flings, but there are exceptions.
30. Jealousy is an issue. I get jealous really easily.
31. Two years ago I still believed in magic and miracles. Now? Not so much.
32. I never drink medicine when I'm sick. Gosh, I've got to start..
33. I really don't care about what people think of how I dress. If I like it, I'll walk out the door. I get comments on what I wear a lot. Good and bad. But meh.
34. I'm a hugeeeeeeeeee money spender. Like a huge money spender.
35. When something's wrong with a person, I don't really mind if they tell me or not. Yeah, I might post about this as well.
36. I am really weak towards the cold. Even with layers on, I'm still shivering my arse off.
37. I want a relationship where it's okay to step up as the..dominant role, I guess you could say. Like, I want to be able to lend my boy my jacket and everything without him being so ashamed and all that. Even with friends.
38. I reckon blonde hair always looks good when styling, especially braids.
39. If I were to dye my hair, and I had long hair, I would dip dye it a red or a royal blue.
40. I like being in charge, but I don't like it as well.
41. I used to be really naive. Like really naive.
42. I used to fall for people easily.
43. Now, I don't know cause I haven't liked anyone in a while. And I like it like this.
44. I do not like being deemed as 'boy crazy'
45. I'm on good terms with, I guess you could call them the 'rebellious' group, and allowing my usual group to see me with them intimidates me. I don't know why, I get an odd vibe. I still love you girls though! :$ Yeah, it only comes from the girls.
46. I overreact a lot.
47. In maths, I tend to make problems seem far more complicated than they really are. Bad habit..
48. My friends say that I'm really mature. Yeah, I don't think I am. I still have a lot to learn,
49. I can't wait to get my new phone. I'm going to text a lot. And I already know who I'm going to text 24/7 :3
50. If I could rewind my life, I would learn some sort of dance. Preferably either hip hop or ballet. Oh and possibly gymnastics as well.
51. When I eat fatty foods, it goes straight to my tummy and not so much of my thighs anymore. They're full of muscle 8D
52. I feel so bad after I eat junk..I feel like working out straight away. But yeah, that doesn't happen. HAHA
53. I wouldn't care if the most embarrassing photo of me was put up on Facebook. The only time I would delete it would be when I look fat or if it gives me a bad image AHAH
54.  Foods I can tolerate that majority of people can't are bitter melons and celeries. I can't think of anything else.
55. I find a lot of things cute. Don't ask me why, I just do.
56. Unlike some people, I find it a huge burden when people like me. Not so much if I can return them, even thoough they do have its cons. But if I can't, I really don't want to hurt that person and all. Then again, no one likes me so, s'all good!
57. I was the biggest tom-boy when I was younger. Yeah, a part of me still is.
58. Growing up, I thought that girls should never be the ones to chase the boy. And I always used to, hence my self esteem got dragged down so badly.
59. I don't really care about what people think of me. I mean I do, but I don't. Get it? Yeah, I don't either.
60. I have a teaspoon with Minnie Mouse on it from when I was a baby. I still use it and I won't let my parents throw it out HAHA
61. I have a big head..I hate it.
62. I have dried fruit in my room, so whenever I want to snack, I'll always have it in arm's reach.. :$ Cause I'm lazy like that!
63. I wish I were able to just have my arms around a male. Even with a friend. It'd be so nice.
64. If I were to cry, I'd want to cry in my (best) friend's arms. It would be nice if we were lying down as well. I don't know, I can't explain it, there was a scene where Blair and Serena (Gossip Girl) did it!
65. I'm able to freely compliment people of the opposite sex without it meaning anymore than it does. So if guy looks nice, I'll be able to say it to them. Guys I know.
66. I want to experience the 'running and jumping on you' hug. 
67. I want to be able to mess around with my partner. Like physically. No, not sex.
68. There's only one person I can freely hold hands with - Tifferny! :) I can link arms and all with other girls, but yeah.
69. I feel like I annoy people really easily. Like really easily..
70. I'm really insecure about my body. But I think everyone knows that.
71. I'm really intimate. Don't ask me why. I just am.
72. If you won't tell me your life story, I won't tell you mine. I don't know, even if I want to, I won't.
73. I'm not into the whole party/clubbing scene.
74. I love make up. Yet I hate wearing it. I don't know. I feel so damn caked wearing make up.
75. If I was confident with my body, I would wear things that are daring..without a problem.
76. There are times when I restrict myself from going all retarded cause I feel paranoid that people give me weird looks and aren't used to it. Even towards my closest friends. Not Julie though. I'm a weirdo with her :')
77. Late night talks in the dark! <3 *looks at Julie keke!
78. I would love to have a sleep over with girls and boys without it being such a big fuss.
79. Comfortable silences are the best! I always have these with Julie ;3
80. I'm really open..like oddly open. There's this girl I know, I've seen her twice, and I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She gave me and odd look and laughed HAAHAH :3
81. 79 only applies to certain issues. I don't share my personal life with everyone though.Then again, I barely talk about it.
82. I love going to Julie's place after school. We usually sit/lie there and talk or just in a comfortable silence.
83. I love DNM's (deep and meaningful's). I don't have many, but I have them, and they are usually the best!
84. I love boys who have a soft side! A feminine one even! :$ 
85. I'm able to interfere with my feelings whenever they develop for someone
86. I love it when you just look into your friend's eyes and you burst out laughing cause you know exactly what they're thinking.
87. I have no female relatives who are around my age. Who can speak English fluently. Who live in Sydney. Unless you count Julie, Cindy and Jenny. Cause they're somewhat my distant cousins. And I just found out this year! After like years of knowing each other and spending every weekend with each other HAHA
88. I've never met my grandparents on my Dad's side. The last time I saw my Grandpa my Mum's side was 13 years ago, and it was 10 years for my Grandma. I can't see my Grandpa anymore, and if I want to see my Grandma..I don't know when I will.. Hence, I really envy people who know they grandparents.
89. I really want a younger sibling! And an older sister!
90. I really like making new friends! Old or young, love'em all! :)
91. I'm not used to being complimented. It still takes me by surprise.
92. Media got to me at a very young age. It made me extremely insecure about my looks. Getting criticised as a kid didn't help either.
93. I used to be really caught up in love. I used to have all these wonders about walking on the beach at sunset and everything, just like any other girl. Now, I don't really care.
94. I'm starting to have a image of my future. I want to be do something in the communication department. If not, I want to open up my own photography business.
95. I haven't hugged my brother in yonks! The next probable time we will is probably when I graduate.. Man! Sucks! :(
96. I sleep walk and talk. For the past few nights, I've slept walked. Before this, last time I slept walked was four years ago. I'm not sure about the last time I slept talked though.
97. A lot of people say I don't look Vietnamese and Chinese. I get mistaken for being Korean, Japanese and sometimes half-caste.
98. I look older than I really am. And I do it unintentionally. It reaaaally sucks!
99. I'm not that sporty, but I absolutely love swimming. I can't give it up even though my shoulders getting broader from the strokes..the strokes that I like..
100. I'm a huge bookworm. I love reading cause it opens a pathway for me to escape from reality. Romance novels - yay! :)

Oh my gosh, I'm freakin' done! After a month of going back and forth editting this. I'm doooooooooneeeee! YAYAYYA! It was so hard to think of 100 facts! :( And be happy Putijak! I was going to abandon this! HAHA!

Untitled

Rock Eisteddfod was last night. Was super fun! And tiring. The camera battery acted up when the performance started..so there are not photos of the actual performance. So sad. I'm still pretty bummed about that.. And it looked freakin' amazing as well! My gosh! Spent 17 hours with my fags as friends, I'd like to do that again one day, this time without teacher supervision. But, obviously that won't be happening until we graduate. I anticipate that day! I love spending hours and hours with friends!

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss having Peter at home. I barely see him now. There are times I go days without seeing him. And we live in the same house. It feels so odd. He's always at work, uni or out and I'm either at school or I'm out. Only time we're both home is like late at night or early in the morning..when we're both asleep.. I'm starting to miss his presence.

Mmm, I woke up with my TOTM. Too much information? I don't care (A) I guess it's getting back on track now. I'm relieved, but I don't want it. It's so annoying!

I still haven't gotten better yet. I wanted to work out today. But no..got my freakin' TOTM along with being sick. There is no way I'm going to work out. fhsidfsjik! It's been so freaking long! I'm going to gain my weight back! :(

I'm still deciding whether to go to Star City tomorrow or not. I want to, but gosh, I feel so damn lazy.. It's either Star City or spending the day with Julie..

Hmm, got volunteering in like two and a half hours. Some of the girls are going to join me, so I hope it'll be fun! And we're going to go to V Lounge afterwards to eat. Yayayayayay!