The ways things were

We were so close. We talked every day. Now, we don't even greet each other.

Has this ever happened to you? The worst feeling ever isn't it? To see someone being who you used to be. Whether it was being best friends or lovers. It hurts, even though you know that you're completely over that person. To know you just lost an important position in someone's life. To someone else.

After you notice that you're drifitng away from that person, feelings of confusion and sadness over power any other feeling. You start to feel lonely even though you still talk to that person. It doesn't feel the same. You're both putting in effort, but the conversations go no where. 

That goes on until both of you are too tired to even try anymore. You wish the other person would. But, chances are they're tired of it as well. Or they're already over it, and all along, you were the one putting effort into your friendship. Sooner or later, you'll become sick and tired as well.

By then, there will be no conversations at all. No laughter. No inside jokes. When you see each other, it'll be awkward. Every one will notice something's wrong, you'll be bombarded with questions with what happened and why. But the thing is, you don't know what happened. Or why it happened.

Until both of you don't even talk to each other. You don't even acknowledge each other's presence. Then after a while, you either move on before them, or you see them with someone else. Their vibe reminds you of how you used to be when you were around them.

It hurts, but hey, people move on. Life never stops moving.

Yayy!

I'm making pancakes with Dad tomorrow! Yay! It'll be me, Dad and maybe Peter. Mum will be at work. I can't wait! I haven't cooked with my Dad for a really long time, so I'm really looking forward to it! And guess what? The packaging is Harry Potter! I got a Draco card with it too, it reminds me of the cards they get with the Chocolate Frogs in the books.

So, I owe Jordan four posts. Yes, that's the reason why I've been posting those kind of posts lately. I was stupid enough to agree to a deal to post everyday. Sad. Extremely sad. I'm too lazy to post lately. I miss him! It feels so odd with him in LA. Even though we're talking right now. I hope you're having fun! Buy me something!

Pleasing people

Everyone wants to make others happy. Everyone wants to be around people with a positive energy. Everyone says it, everyone knows it: you can't please everyone. If you please everyone, you'll turn fake, you'll lose you true identity. You'll be mistaken as another. As selfish as it may be, you need to let people down at times. You need to make yourself happy. You need to feel the corners of your mouth curving up.

When you've accomplished something that was set by someone you love, their praise and happiness makes you content right? Seeing the ones you love being happy. It's an amazing feeling, no doubt about it. Most favours will be reasonable, but like always, you'll tumble over one that won't be so reasonable. Then, what will you do? Will you still do it? Even if goes against your morals? Even if you know it's something you don't want to do?

These are the times you must follow your heart and build up the courage to decline the favour. Tell the person that you can't do it, if they really did love you, they will understand. However, there are a handful of people who will not understand and will blow you off. Is that your fault? Definitely not.

Pleasing people isn't a necessity, please yourself is though.

Best friends

It's so hard to find one. It's so hard to maintain the friendship. It's hard to face the end. But everything in between, it's a wonderful feeling. Being able to stay up late and talk to them. Smiling like an idiot. Feeling content and forgetting everything else.

Hard to find a best friend; you can't 'find' one, they just come along and you start bonding. Who knows, anyone could turn out to be a best friend. Might be the girl who sits in front of you in English class. It might be the boy you find odd. Even if you dislike them now, when you befriend them, they will become the most amazing person ever.

Establishing a friendship and maintaining it are two different scenarios. Maintaining a friendship really is one of the hardest deeds. It needs you to be dedicated, committed and most of all, patient. Without patience, a friendship will be continuously broken. Maybe it will mend back together, closer than ever, or it can take a one hundred and eighty turn and break into so many smaller pieces that it becomes impossible to put back together.

The end of a friendship. It comes with pain, tears and a pierce in your heart. You'll feel alone. You'll miss how things used to be. You'll miss the late ninth conversations. You'll miss the way the other person makes you feel. A part of you has been ripped a part, because it will stay with the other person..no matter what.

When you're close enough, you just know when it's right to consider yourselves as best friends. You can't ask the other person if you can be best friends. It's a gut instinct, something that only true best friends will share.

There will always be that one person who stays with you for the rest of your life though. Always. 

What if?

What if? The question of life. The question some people fear to ask. The question of chance and possibility. The question of the unknown. The question of believing.

Life's full of mysteries yet to unveil. Whether it'll pull you up or drag you down. No one knows. As cliche this phrase is, it's true: only time will tell. Only time will tell the events your life is leading up to. Only time will tell how happy or sad you will be. Only time will tell everything that no one can. Only in the present, you're able to question what could happen.

Some people truly do fear this question. They can't believe in miracles no longer. They can't believe in wishes. They can't believe in anything but the cruelty of the world. In actual fact though, they're not afraid of the question, it's the answer they're afraid of. Afraid that the answer could be what they've been trying to avoid their whole life. 

Then again, how would you know? How would anyone know? Take risks. Question life, because even if it drags you down, it'll pull you back up, higher than ever.

Young and in love

So many people are guilty of this. Believing they're in love at such a young age. They become completely absorbed into the fact that someone else loves them for who they are. So absorbed that they become oblivious to every other aspect of their lives.

Being loved for who you are. I'm not going to deny anything; it's an amazing feeling. Sure, you're loved by your family. your friends, but when it comes to romance, it takes being loved to a whole new level. You feel all these butterflies, your stomach does various somersaults and you can't rid of that huge smile off your face.

But, how do you know this is real? How do you know when to believe them when they tell you they love you? How do you even know when you're in love? Someone once told me When you're in love, not only do your lips smile, but so does your heart. That's just one of the many identifications of knowing, but the true one would be to trust yourself, your gut instinct.

Even so, it's still really hard to know when it's true. A lot of people throw around the phrase I love you, like it's nothing. People say hate is a strong word, but they throw love around like nothing. People say I love you when they're unsure if they really mean it or not. People say I love you just to blend in with the crowd. And a handful on people will say I love you because they genuinely mean it.

They may feel like they're at their highest point, but at one point or another, they'll be dragged down. Maybe not from love, but maybe friends, family studies. That's the point that they realise how absorbed they are in their love life, and disregarding every thing else. They slowly come back to reality, to people who have been there longer than their partner has.

Sure, some do work out, some do go on into marriage. But most, most don't make it to the one year mark. Most will break up after a month or so. It'll break their heart, but sooner or later, they will move on with their life. Because at this age, you're supposed to have fun, you're not supposed to label yourself as a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Confidently insecure

Everyone wants to be confident. Because being confident means being happy with yourself. And to many, that may just be the hardest battle they will ever fight.

Confidence; to be sure of oneself; to have no uncertainty. With so many insecurities, it seems so out of reach. And on top of that, we all have to deal with the images of supposedly 'perfection' in magazines, movies and the media overall. And we compare ourselves with these people who appear in the media looking amazing. Maybe it's the model's body, their smile, their eyes, or maybe it's the interviewee's loving personality. Whatever it is, we'll compare ourselves to them.

But, hang on, if one isn't confident in the first place, something must have happened for them to be so broken in the first place, right? No one will ever know what one has been through, how it must have felt. The initial feeling of having their heart being squeezed and then feeling it slowly break into a million pieces.

For these people, the fight towards confidence is the hardest yet. They must learn to stand back on their feet. They must pick up each piece and mend it back together, careful not to allow it to break into even smaller pieces. It's a hard and painful process, but when it's over, that person will transform into one of the strongest people. And most likely, one of the most amazing.

Confidence isn't given over night. It slowly comes to us. And it also comes with a price. A price of pain, and maybe even tears.

Pick yourself up. Change yourself. Transform. Prove others wrong and let them know that you are beautiful. And most of all, believe in yourself.