Aching and confused

I just got back from camp yesterday. I still haven't completely unpacked yet, my body ached too much to unpack. My back is still killing me. 

Day 1

I woke up at 6am (a way better start than my Korea trip was), got at school at 8am. It was pretty chilly and I was only wearing a thin sweater, but oh well. Then we left at around 8:30, I think. And by the time we got to Stanwell Tops, it was completely pouring! Urgh, it was so bad. Our first meal was fish and chips, the chips were so soggy! And the fish was still a tad pink. 

We then went off to our activities, and our first one was abseiling..off a rock climbing wall. It was supposed to be an actual rock, but it was too wet and dangerous, how gay, I was actually looking forward to the real thing. And then we went off to high ropes. Oh my god, that shit is so scary! I shitted myself when going through one of the courses! But the thing I really really really hate about tthe activities was the weather, it drenched my outer sweater so badly! I couldn't wear it the next day. And it still didn't completely dry when camp was over! So I kinda stole Alan's hoodie..

Then we had some free time, dinner and trivia night. The first day was good despite the weather. And we all slept early too..

Day 2

I woke up at 6am, and up till 7am, I was in that moment when you're asleep, but you're not. I don't know, it's weird. We had breakfast at 8am (toast, sausage, eggs) then we had till 10 am till our activity, so we bummed around. I went around to the boys' room and just stayed there.

Our first activity was..Survivor. It was great fun! During Survivor, I realised how nice and mature Kevin Truong is! It was definitely one of my favourite activities! Then we went off to lunch, we had burritos, it was alright I guess. Then we went off to the Giant Swing, I didn't go on it cause I didn't really want to, but yeahh. I don't regret not going on.

Then the best part of the day: water fight! It was heaps fun! I got bucketed heaps of times though! And I got thrown in the pool a million times! Damn you Stevan and Vuong! Oh, but I stacked it so badly, main reason why my back hurts. So I was standing on concrete and Vuong was gonna shoot me, but behind him I swa Stevan running towards Vuong with a bucket, and then Stevan tackled Vuong and Vuong tackled me and I fell head first on concrete. I didn't feel it though..I mainly felt it on my ass and my jaw. I hope I didn't break anything!

We then had dinner, it was pasta, but I didn't want to eat it so I didn't. Then we had games night. Meh. It was alright. Then after that, I sat and talked with Alan, Vuong and Tony. Then we went to our rooms and I ended up sleeping at 3:30am. Oh yeah, your comment hurt me. And now cause of you, I'm all over the place.

Day 3

I'm getting lazy, so I'm gonna like be very brief. Woke up for 7:30, went to breakfast which was bacon, toast and eggs.  Then we had free time again till 10, I spent it with Alan. Went off to out last acitvity which was go karting, I diidn't go on cause my body was aching from that fall and because I didn't want to. I felt very moody and I didn't wanna be around anyone, so it was pretty shit. Oh well, it was no one's but my fault. Then  after that, we had lunch which was some egg noodle thing, I don't know. Then we went back home, and yeahhh! 

Overall, it wasn't the best camp, but it wasn't the worst. 

I'm off to see the wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!

I'm actually off to camp tomorrow. I'm kinda excited, but nervous. I don't wanna leave my Dad at home, Peter's back to working (I think). Sighhh..can't be helped. The weather is so so so bad.. It's cold and raining! I was hoping for warm weather! Cause we'll be swimming and everything! Now that will all be done in the rain.. Great.

I may or may not post while I'm there. Depends on my mood. Oh and we're going up to Stanwell Tops (should've mentioned that first!).

Sigh, I'm also going to miss Tiff a lot. I won't be able to text her cause there's no reception at the place at all, how sad. I'm going to miss that girl so much! <3

And when I come back from there, I have one night at home, then I'm off to Relay for Life. It's raining too, sighh. I can't wait for it though! I missed out on 2010's cause I had to go on my hike for Duke of Ed, I was so bummed! I hope this year's turns out to be great fun despite the weather!

Always & forever

That phrase, that one phrase, it's only meant to be said when you truly mean it. But it probably gets thrown around a lot. This phrase means a lot to me, it hits me hard with a crash of memories: happy and sad. But these memories bring back my very last happiest moment. I really would never trade anything for them. And if I had to relive those moments, I definitely would. No doubt.

But I always question myself, did I also throw this phrase around? Well, I'm still young, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I miss you.. And I hate you too. And I will kill you you bitch.

Am I that bad..? I'm sorry.

Night: destroyed.

Dilemma!

I want to be thin. Like so so so badly. But, I don't my bust to become smaller. And yeah, I know people are saying I'm already thin and everything, but I want a flatter tummy, smaller thighs and a more defined jaw line. And I can't get these without doing cardio, and if I do cardio, I will lose my bust. It's already become smaller from my previous crazy work out sessions. I guess I can wait until I stop growing and developing then lose all the excess fat hanging off my body. But that's like two - three more years! I think..girls stop developing at 18 right? I really want to keep my curves, I don't want to lose them! I'm thinking of just keeping toned and fit, so like two or three work out sessions a week? I don't know..

Oh, and just to make some things clear, I do wear a bra that fits me! Just saying, cause Manita emphasised how small my bust looked on Sunday.. But yes, my bras fit me, I do not stuff anything in them. I do have bras which are a tad too big, but I don't wear them unless it's my last resort, which is not often seeing as I have so many bras. Sighh, I'm so uncomfortable with my bust now.. And I also don't wear push ups..but I really wanna try one! They'll make my boobs look nice heheh :$

I want fat to disappear every where but my chest and backside.. I'm such a girl :$ HAHAH

I watched this video thing today at school, it reminded me of you keke I miss youuuuuu!

I went Liverpool with Tiff to give in my resumes to a few stores. I splurged $80.. I don't regret my purchases though. Pretty content. Although it was only two items.. I got a wallet from Miss Shop for $10 and a shirt/dress from Seduce for $70. It was half price okay?! And it's pretty too :D It might turn out to be my back up formal dress. Tiff got the same one but in another colour, so if I wear that, and she goes, we'll be wearing the same dress!

Waiting.

Content till now.. I don't have money for my shoes now! I might steal Tiff's shoes then..

You're right. There is no one. Ever.

After all this time

I was wrong to assume that. Maybe you are trying. Maybe you want it as much as I do. And you would have jumped at the chance. Maybe, just maybe. It hurts knowing that I'll never know how you feel. Okay, not particularly never, but it's highly unlikely I'll ever know. It's also unlikely for me to know what's going on in your life. For me to be that sister that both of us wanted for me to be. But then, a part of me refuses to lose hope. One day, everything we never had will be made up for.

I have my mock interview at school today..yayy.. I'm actually really nervous. I want to do well and I want to achieve in portraying a mature and sophisticated vibe. I don't know, that's how I am around professionals and all.

Last night I was a feast for a dear mosquito prying in my room. I got about six lovely bites from that thing. And one of the bites was on my eye.. I woke up with the most uneven eyelids I had ever had. Before school started (thank gosh I woke up earlier than usual!), I applied slices of cucumber on my eye. And that thing works wonders! Reduced the swelling so much! Although it's still a bit swollen. And I spy another mosquito asking to die. But I lost it.. Time to say hello to another night of being dinner for the mosquitoes..

Life's taking a sharp turn.

We both know if you tried, it'd be possible. Entirely possible. So why aren't you trying?

Untitled

The Kpop Festival was last night. I feel oddly normal that I didn't go. Yeah, I'm not longer and obsessed fangirl. But if it was BIGBANG/YG, I will kill myself if I wasn't there. But, that won't be happening for a loooooong while, so it's all good!

I spent the night at Tiff's and Srecko and Stevan came over as well. It was fun! We had mini bitch sessions, Tiff and I have the best bitch sessions ever! It's always nice to be with her and those boys.

And and Lily's hereeeeee! Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see her! Hopefully she'll be at Jenny's tonight! I was supposed to go out with them today, but yeah, that didn't happen.. Oh well!

Wishes and miracles

I stopped believing in this not too long ago. Maybe two years ago. From then, I never liked touching this topic because I felt the naiveness that I had. And I thought it was foolish. Foolish to believe that there could be such thing as a wish, a miracle and a 'dream come true'.

Today emphasised the number of people who still believe in wishes. The entire '11/11/11 11:11' thing. It's so stupid, no offence to those who made wishes. It's so pointless. A specific minute in life will not make your wish come true. Nothing comes true without hard work and patience. And if it does come true, it's because you made it come true or it was bound to happen anyway.

Then again, I can't deny that I do have things I wish for. But I'm not going to rely on a minute to wish for it. So, no, I don't think wishes are stupid and fake, I think 11:11 is stupid and fake.

Remembrance Day 2011

To those who sacrificed what could never have been taken back for the rest of the world. Taking part of the war which ended all wars. Lest we forget.

You still have't given me what you stole. I returned your's already.

I'm gonna use random titles like that now. It isn't personal.

Well, I'm in bed at the moment texting Tiff. We've grown a lot closer lately, although we were previously close, and I can't ask for anything more. This girl knows almost everything about me. We bitch to each other about everything! I'm so glad to have her in my life. She knows how to make me smile and brighten my day. My relationship with her's is one I can definitely see as a part of my future. No doubt. I could never and would never let her go, she means too much to me! I love her so much! The best friend and sister I could ever ask for! <3

I should be sleeping earlier, but I don't want to. And classes are boring and pointless now, so it's okay to sleep in class (A)

Camp's coming up in two weeks! I can't wait! It's gonna be so much fun! Three days to just escape everything. Kinda.

My Mum's going Vietnam next Tuesday and doesn't return until the 20th of December. I'm gonna miss her so much! And her cooking! I absolutely love her cooking! I absolutely love her too but! She's going to visit Grandma. I hope Grandma's in good shape, I haven't seen her for ten years. I want to see her before I can't..

I feel jealous towards those who are close to their grandparents. Or even just know them.. I never knew mine. On my Dad's side, they both passed away long before I was born. I really want to meet my Grandma (Dad's) because everyone says I looks exactly like her. There's no difference between us at all. And my Grandpa (Mum), I've seen him once and that was when I was two, so I have no memory of him at all. Only memories I can dig up are those captured through a camera and were printed out. Other than that, I know nothing of him at all. It really saddens me thinking about my grandparents..I hope they're resting well and that my Grandma (Mum's) is doing well. I love you Grandma and Grandpa <3

So saying that, I get really annoyed when people disregard/disrespect their grandparents. They have no idea what they're missing out on.. I would love to have my grandparents with me. What they have, I can't have..ever. The fact that you know your grandparents is a wonderful thing. And the thing is, we're aware that they don't have much time left, so I wish everyone would just make the most of the time that they are blessed with.

11/11/11..everyone is making a big deal about it. All cause they want to make a 11:11 wish.. No offence, but I find that stupid. Maybe cause I don't believe in 11:11. And hey, it's Remembrance Day. Should be thanking those who died saving us..

Yeah!

School Certificate is over! It's so pointless and stupid! It doesn't even go anywhere. Seriously! I guess the exam papers were okay. Some trial papers were easier for me, and vice versa. Oh well, I'm just glad it's over. Now I don't have anything to really stress over which relates to education. Well, I have tutor and Maths roll over classes, but that's it.

Life's boring, but it's not boring at the same time. It's no longer a linear path, I fall down, but I get back up.

I'm falling a lot though. And I'm running back to those who aren't here.

I miss you you big bullying gronk.

The best day yet

Yesterday was the best day. I was with Tiff the whole day. She brightens my days so much. I first went Bau Truong with her and I had Hu Tieu Xao. Freakin' yummmmmmmm! Then we went Liverpool and looked for shoes, yeah, no luck. Then we went back to her place and everyone else came (everyone as in Stevan, Srecko, Vuong, Alan). Such a fun night! :D I love being around them, they can make me so happy! Even though they drink, and I don't, I always manage to have heaps of fun.

I miss you. Like a lot.

Gonna spend the day with Tiff again, so yeahhh! :D

The three musketeers