I finally had an entire family outing today. We went to Liverpool though.. Oh well, it felt nice to have everyone. And after forever, I finally made a purchase from Myer! I got this navy top from Miss Shop and a scallop hemmed top from Quirky Circus. I've been dying for the top from QC so I am so so glad I got it! And I really like the navy top too! But, Putijak doesn't cause it has lace in the front HAHAH (A)

After that, I went to the optometrist and I found a pair of sunglasses by Marc by Marc Jacobs and I am in looooooooove with them! And they actually look nice! It's so hard to find pair of sunglasses which actually look nice on me cause of my cheek bones.. Oh well, I love them and I'm getting them this weekend! Yay!

A week has already passed through the holiday. It went by at a decent pace for a change. I'm looking forward to school, but at the same time I'm not. I'm so scared! I hope I'll be able to cope with all of it!

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas. The one day in the whole entire year you're supposedly able to remember what it was like to be a kid. It's impossible to have gone through the past few days without seeing a decorated tree, Santa at the shops and the decorations. It's all so..magical.

As a child, I was taken to take photos with Santa every single year. There were years I went to Anna Bay, bike riding (yeah, I didn't ride, I did try to though!) or I would just go to my family friend's place and stay there all day. Christmas was always perfection for me as a child.

Now, things are different, I don't take photos with Santa. I don't go to Anna Bay. I don't go bike riding (well, I could, but nah, and I still don't know how to ride a bike). And I certainly don't go to her place anymore.

Christmas is different now. It still feels magical, but it's not materialistic. I understand that now.

The wedges I want from Betts are one sale! Oh my god, I want them! They're so cheap! I've been wanting these pairs for a million years now. And my Mum said she'll get me them once they're on sale, and they're on sale now! YAYAYYAYA I'm so happy! No guarantee that I'll get them though.. :(

I want them. Now. They're only $56 :( I have had my eyes on these for at least half a year. Maybe even longer. But I initially wanted them in a light pink, but they weren't available anymore. So I opted for taupe. SO PRETTY!

And these..they're so cute for Summer! They'll look amazing with summer dresses! I only laid my eyes on these for a few months now. They don't really appeal to me as they are, but when I saw them on Jesinta Campbell - I fell in love! They're also only $56 keke

Last Thursday was formal, and it was amazing! I was really nervous that it would be extremely dead, but oh my god, most amazing night ever! Everyone was so hyped and they were all dancing! Everyone looked gorgeous as well! My legs still hurt though, I don't know, it might be my heels. 

AND AND I'M NO LONGER A JUNIORRRRRRRRR! Yay! We graduated on Friday, that means out next day of school, we'll be in blue tops and grey bottoms. I'm so excited! The senior uniform is heaps prettier than the junior! And hey, the girls can no longer be Christmas trees! It's nerve wracking knowing we're in year 11, and it's only two more years until HSC. Oh well, I hope I can do well!

Mum's coming back in two days! Yayy! I can't wait! I've missed her so much! And I don't have to be the only girl in the house anymore!

I am so lazy. I can't be bothered to really post about anything properly. Oh well. 

Gronk and bitch. I miss you two..

You make me laugh.

We both know I'm not strong enough

Yesterday was Linda's birthday, and she unexpectedly had a mini get together. I wasn't going to go cause my aunt booked me to do my nails. I stayed at Julie's and when my aunt didn't come for such a long time (and I didn't have her number either), Putijak called me and convinced me to go Linda's. It was actually really fun! Kelvin is so clumsy! He spilled so many things! I had an amazing time, I'm glad I ended up going and spending time with Linda on her 16th! We got back at around 7:30 - 8 to Julie's, but I didn't end up getting my nails done until 9:30-10, it's so pretty and smooth! I love Gelish!

Today was..the Canberra excursion. I was so lazy for it when I woke up, which was around 5am. I didn't want to get out of bed or anything, and it was pouring! It was cold as well! I'm too lazy to really post cause it wasn't so eventful. The fun bits were the times we were in the bus. Even though it was all the boys teasing me.. It's so funny when they do though!

I know it all, but I don't want you to lead me

My thighs are hurting so much. Oh well.

My mock interview was on Friday. I ended up wearing what I wanted because I found a pair of black skinny pants, I was so happy! I actually really liked my outfit! When we walked in school, everyone was staring at us. It felt like Korea all over again! But this time, people weren't greeting us and smiling at us as brightly. I was extremely nervous, like oh my gosh, I was so so so nervous! But, when I did it, I was really relaxed, and my interviewer was extremely nice! She asked me around four questions, and for the rest of the time, we were just talking and she praised me. She gave me full marks! I was really surprised! I didn't think I would do so well!

After school, I quickly went to buy black chiffon to fix my dress. Then I went back home with a few people, initially it was only supposed to be Katie, April, Julie and I, but yeah. Unfortunately, the chiffon I bought was a few shades lighter than my dress. If you can even call it a dress..well, it was designed as a dress shirt, so yeah. I was really bummed! It turned out to be a really fun afternoon/night though. We applied eye liner on Johnny and Alex. Alex's eyes look so pretty with eye liner on them! Putijak slept in my spare room for around two hours and when we woke him up, oh my gosh, he's so cute! After a while, people slowly started to leave, and in the end, it was just Julie, Putijak and Johnny. We had one of the conversations I talked about in my previous post. It was a really good one! It lasted until 10:30. Somewhere in between that, Ailsa dropped off her formal dresses for me to try. I love her mullet dress! Oh my gosh!

Yesterday I went spent the day with Tifferny..again. We went Flemmington, but we couldn't find anything, so we left in half an hour. We then went to Fairfield Neeta City, we looked through a few stores. And then I found my dress! We 'bumped' into Alex and Johnny. Well, I was going to go with them initially, and Tiff was supposed to go Parramatta, but she didn't, so yeah. We bought their formal tops, and Tiff managed to get them a $20 discount..each! After that, we went to Liverpool Westfields to buy my shoes. But they didn't have my size in both stores I went to. I was so bummed. At the first store, the lady offered to transfer one over to the store, but I said I'll keep looking. We went to look for Alex and Johnny's vest. It's so nice! I love them so much! Tiff also managed to get a $5 discount for them.. Both Alex and Johnny look good in their formal attire so far! Then, I remembed my shoes, and I ran to the store, but the lady said the other store had closed at 4:30. Just as I was about to leave, I asked her something, and she told me to come back in. Then the phone rang, and it was the other store and she managed to transfer the heels for me! She said it was meant to be because that store usually closes 4:30 on the dot. Oh my gosh, yay! I was so so happy! I'm going to pick them up on Tuesday. Then we went back to the station, but the cops were there and our tickets were invalid, so we decided to walk it to Warwick Farm. Then we somehow realised I could have paid for our ticket, so Johnny and Alex teased me all the way back to Cabramatta. They can't seem to phase me 100% though, I find it funny more than anything! Overall, it was a really fun day!

Now, my thighs hurt from walking so much..

I'm so ashamed of what I did. I want to go back and undo it. After all these years, I feel so guilty..

You walked away, but you walked back in

I've been meaning to post for a few days now, but I just could not be bothered!

So, Monday, it was uneventful until school ended. Things happened. I then decided to spend my afternoon with Johnny and Putijak. Well, Johnny asked me if I was free, and asked me to bum around, and he invited Putijak as well. It was an extremely fun afternoon! We spent time at the park just talking about everything. It was one of those conversations where you get to know how that person feels about other people. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Oh, and they also decided to teach me how to ride a bike! Putijak brought it up since they had bikes with them, and that boy is so damn persistent! Johnny gave up in under a minute because I refused to get on the bike. It probably took two whole minutes just to get me on it. I was so so so scared at first, I barely pedalled! But, Putijak, being so persistent, kept urging me on, and I finally got the hang of it. I don't move that far though, not far at all. They were both overjoyed each time I pedalled and got somewhere! It was really encouraging. Putijak said I just have to practice my balance and make myself pedal more. I want to keep learning now! It's pretty fun!

It's Career Week for my grade, and we found out that our mock interview is really this Friday. And it's the real deal: corporate wear, the interview, resume, and everything! I need to go purchase my attire for Friday since I barely have anything.

Formal's coming up next Thursday! I need to fix my dress up, and that's happening this Friday, but I haven't gotten around to buying the fabric yet! Urgh! I can't be bothered for it. I'm excited to socialise with my grade and purchase items, but urgh, I'm lazy. 

So much to do and buy in so little time. I'm going to have to spend so much money just for the mock interview and formal.

Happy 18th birthday Jordan!

Wow..you're 18.. I remember when first met, you were 15 going 16, it's already been two - three years, it feels so much longer! Even though we've known each other for this long, we've only been best friends for two years.. Okay, think about that, that's pretty long. I didn't even realise we spent 2010 and 2011 together!

I'm going to warn you now, this message will be pretty long, everything I've wanted to say and never said will be said here. And oh, because it's your sweet 18th too! And it's going to be everywhere, I'm typing whichever topic is coming to mind.

I remember you let me know that I'm your closest 'girlfrannn'. From then, we have drifted a bit - what the hell, we've drifted a lot! And because of that, I'm scared that I've lost that position as your closest girlfrannn, cause you're still my closest boyfrannn. I want to still be that girl who you can talk to anything about. Let's become close again yes? Yes, okay!

Even though it's a bummer, I'm actually a tad glad that you don't live near me. And that's only because I feel like we're not able to pick out each other's flaws as much, hence we won't get into so many arguments. But yes, it's also a major bummer! Come over one day! And would you pleeeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee actually show up when you give me a time to meet up?! Or at least let me know that you won't show up?! And one day, I promise you, I will go over to your place! ...only if you promise you'll pick me up from the airport! And if you promise to take me around! Oh, and give me a place to stay! And when I do, I'll have to watch wrestling with you, hey..?

Remember how we used to talk on Skype every single day? Well, I think it was every day.. But oh my gosh, I absolutely loved our conversations! They made me so happy! Oh and I still have a thing for your giggle! It's so cuteeeeee! And stop teasing me about my voice!

Your nicknames for me.. Oh my gosh, that list went on and on and on and on! My favourites were definitely Lamlam and Baby Lam! I don't know, I just love them! Especially Lamlam, because I could call you Xiexie, and it made me happy calling you that, I don't know. And our very first ones as best friends: Obba and Dongsaeng! I still call you that from time to time, but it's rare. They'll never get old though!

In 2011, I know I've been a huge brat to you, especially at one point, but I'm so grateful that you talked to me about it first and assured me that I didn't need to feel that way. You assured me that nothing and no one could take my place and that you'll never walk out on me. Those words have stuck with me till now, so don't go against them!

I'm really sorry for not being a great friend. You read me like a book. I can't read you at all. I constantly feel bad for this, and I know you'll say 'You should be!' or something along the lines of that. But yeah, I'm really sorry!

Even though we don't tell each other much of our problems now, I would still like to, but I always have to wait for you to get into your 'mood'. Heck, we don't even talk that much anymore! We talk here and there, and most of the time it's you picking on me, but I love talking to you anyway!

Your gay moments are amazing. They always make me tear up! I love them so so much, you know how to make me smile.

Jordan, if I didn't have a brother, you'd be the next closest thing. You really would be. These past two years have been amazing, being your sister and everything. But I wish you were nicer to me! Oh well, I love you heaps! Let's talk more, maintain our bond and don't ever change okay? Yeah, you're not getting a long as message next year, maybe when you're 21 and we're still best friends!

I LOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUU! ♥

And and, I better be a bride's maid! :(

Back off bitches!

I want Back Off by Jeffrey Campbell so badly! It's always looked nice to me, but oh my gosh, I want them so badly right now! They're so unique with the metal platter at the bottom! I want them so much! I blame Blackmilk for this! All their models have a pair and it's always in their photo shoots. I want Back Off's. Like now! But I won't wear them often..I just want themmm!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

What time is it? It's Summer time!

A pretty shit start to 2011's Summer though.. It was windy and pretty cold. Sydney's weather is so annoying and messed up.

I broke nothing from that fall I had at camp, but my jaw didn't stop hurting until yesterday or something, oh well!

I don't know how people balance being around two different groups of friends. It's so hard. I don't know who to go to. And both groups consist of people who I'm especially close with. And I love them just as much! I need to figure out how to balance it out so I'm not around one group too much, but I know right now, that it definitely isn't balanced. I feel really bad, I just hope that I can balance it out and be happy..

I just recently made another amendment with a relationship. Well, it was a minor one. But a relationship fixed is a relationship fixed. The thing is, I'm still holding back. I don't want to, but I know what will happen if I don't. It's too risky..

I'm not going to back off because of one person.

It's time I move on. No expectations won't hurt me. I'll just be surprised. Hopefully, with positive connotations.