I finally had an entire family outing today. We went to Liverpool though.. Oh well, it felt nice to have everyone. And after forever, I finally made a purchase from Myer! I got this navy top from Miss Shop and a scallop hemmed top from Quirky Circus. I've been dying for the top from QC so I am so so glad I got it! And I really like the navy top too! But, Putijak doesn't cause it has lace in the front HAHAH (A)

After that, I went to the optometrist and I found a pair of sunglasses by Marc by Marc Jacobs and I am in looooooooove with them! And they actually look nice! It's so hard to find pair of sunglasses which actually look nice on me cause of my cheek bones.. Oh well, I love them and I'm getting them this weekend! Yay!

A week has already passed through the holiday. It went by at a decent pace for a change. I'm looking forward to school, but at the same time I'm not. I'm so scared! I hope I'll be able to cope with all of it!

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas. The one day in the whole entire year you're supposedly able to remember what it was like to be a kid. It's impossible to have gone through the past few days without seeing a decorated tree, Santa at the shops and the decorations. It's all so..magical.

As a child, I was taken to take photos with Santa every single year. There were years I went to Anna Bay, bike riding (yeah, I didn't ride, I did try to though!) or I would just go to my family friend's place and stay there all day. Christmas was always perfection for me as a child.

Now, things are different, I don't take photos with Santa. I don't go to Anna Bay. I don't go bike riding (well, I could, but nah, and I still don't know how to ride a bike). And I certainly don't go to her place anymore.

Christmas is different now. It still feels magical, but it's not materialistic. I understand that now.

The wedges I want from Betts are one sale! Oh my god, I want them! They're so cheap! I've been wanting these pairs for a million years now. And my Mum said she'll get me them once they're on sale, and they're on sale now! YAYAYYAYA I'm so happy! No guarantee that I'll get them though.. :(

I want them. Now. They're only $56 :( I have had my eyes on these for at least half a year. Maybe even longer. But I initially wanted them in a light pink, but they weren't available anymore. So I opted for taupe. SO PRETTY!

And these..they're so cute for Summer! They'll look amazing with summer dresses! I only laid my eyes on these for a few months now. They don't really appeal to me as they are, but when I saw them on Jesinta Campbell - I fell in love! They're also only $56 keke

Last Thursday was formal, and it was amazing! I was really nervous that it would be extremely dead, but oh my god, most amazing night ever! Everyone was so hyped and they were all dancing! Everyone looked gorgeous as well! My legs still hurt though, I don't know, it might be my heels. 

AND AND I'M NO LONGER A JUNIORRRRRRRRR! Yay! We graduated on Friday, that means out next day of school, we'll be in blue tops and grey bottoms. I'm so excited! The senior uniform is heaps prettier than the junior! And hey, the girls can no longer be Christmas trees! It's nerve wracking knowing we're in year 11, and it's only two more years until HSC. Oh well, I hope I can do well!

Mum's coming back in two days! Yayy! I can't wait! I've missed her so much! And I don't have to be the only girl in the house anymore!

I am so lazy. I can't be bothered to really post about anything properly. Oh well. 

Gronk and bitch. I miss you two..

You make me laugh.

We both know I'm not strong enough

Yesterday was Linda's birthday, and she unexpectedly had a mini get together. I wasn't going to go cause my aunt booked me to do my nails. I stayed at Julie's and when my aunt didn't come for such a long time (and I didn't have her number either), Putijak called me and convinced me to go Linda's. It was actually really fun! Kelvin is so clumsy! He spilled so many things! I had an amazing time, I'm glad I ended up going and spending time with Linda on her 16th! We got back at around 7:30 - 8 to Julie's, but I didn't end up getting my nails done until 9:30-10, it's so pretty and smooth! I love Gelish!

Today was..the Canberra excursion. I was so lazy for it when I woke up, which was around 5am. I didn't want to get out of bed or anything, and it was pouring! It was cold as well! I'm too lazy to really post cause it wasn't so eventful. The fun bits were the times we were in the bus. Even though it was all the boys teasing me.. It's so funny when they do though!

I know it all, but I don't want you to lead me

My thighs are hurting so much. Oh well.

My mock interview was on Friday. I ended up wearing what I wanted because I found a pair of black skinny pants, I was so happy! I actually really liked my outfit! When we walked in school, everyone was staring at us. It felt like Korea all over again! But this time, people weren't greeting us and smiling at us as brightly. I was extremely nervous, like oh my gosh, I was so so so nervous! But, when I did it, I was really relaxed, and my interviewer was extremely nice! She asked me around four questions, and for the rest of the time, we were just talking and she praised me. She gave me full marks! I was really surprised! I didn't think I would do so well!

After school, I quickly went to buy black chiffon to fix my dress. Then I went back home with a few people, initially it was only supposed to be Katie, April, Julie and I, but yeah. Unfortunately, the chiffon I bought was a few shades lighter than my dress. If you can even call it a dress..well, it was designed as a dress shirt, so yeah. I was really bummed! It turned out to be a really fun afternoon/night though. We applied eye liner on Johnny and Alex. Alex's eyes look so pretty with eye liner on them! Putijak slept in my spare room for around two hours and when we woke him up, oh my gosh, he's so cute! After a while, people slowly started to leave, and in the end, it was just Julie, Putijak and Johnny. We had one of the conversations I talked about in my previous post. It was a really good one! It lasted until 10:30. Somewhere in between that, Ailsa dropped off her formal dresses for me to try. I love her mullet dress! Oh my gosh!

Yesterday I went spent the day with Tifferny..again. We went Flemmington, but we couldn't find anything, so we left in half an hour. We then went to Fairfield Neeta City, we looked through a few stores. And then I found my dress! We 'bumped' into Alex and Johnny. Well, I was going to go with them initially, and Tiff was supposed to go Parramatta, but she didn't, so yeah. We bought their formal tops, and Tiff managed to get them a $20 discount..each! After that, we went to Liverpool Westfields to buy my shoes. But they didn't have my size in both stores I went to. I was so bummed. At the first store, the lady offered to transfer one over to the store, but I said I'll keep looking. We went to look for Alex and Johnny's vest. It's so nice! I love them so much! Tiff also managed to get a $5 discount for them.. Both Alex and Johnny look good in their formal attire so far! Then, I remembed my shoes, and I ran to the store, but the lady said the other store had closed at 4:30. Just as I was about to leave, I asked her something, and she told me to come back in. Then the phone rang, and it was the other store and she managed to transfer the heels for me! She said it was meant to be because that store usually closes 4:30 on the dot. Oh my gosh, yay! I was so so happy! I'm going to pick them up on Tuesday. Then we went back to the station, but the cops were there and our tickets were invalid, so we decided to walk it to Warwick Farm. Then we somehow realised I could have paid for our ticket, so Johnny and Alex teased me all the way back to Cabramatta. They can't seem to phase me 100% though, I find it funny more than anything! Overall, it was a really fun day!

Now, my thighs hurt from walking so much..

I'm so ashamed of what I did. I want to go back and undo it. After all these years, I feel so guilty..

You walked away, but you walked back in

I've been meaning to post for a few days now, but I just could not be bothered!

So, Monday, it was uneventful until school ended. Things happened. I then decided to spend my afternoon with Johnny and Putijak. Well, Johnny asked me if I was free, and asked me to bum around, and he invited Putijak as well. It was an extremely fun afternoon! We spent time at the park just talking about everything. It was one of those conversations where you get to know how that person feels about other people. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Oh, and they also decided to teach me how to ride a bike! Putijak brought it up since they had bikes with them, and that boy is so damn persistent! Johnny gave up in under a minute because I refused to get on the bike. It probably took two whole minutes just to get me on it. I was so so so scared at first, I barely pedalled! But, Putijak, being so persistent, kept urging me on, and I finally got the hang of it. I don't move that far though, not far at all. They were both overjoyed each time I pedalled and got somewhere! It was really encouraging. Putijak said I just have to practice my balance and make myself pedal more. I want to keep learning now! It's pretty fun!

It's Career Week for my grade, and we found out that our mock interview is really this Friday. And it's the real deal: corporate wear, the interview, resume, and everything! I need to go purchase my attire for Friday since I barely have anything.

Formal's coming up next Thursday! I need to fix my dress up, and that's happening this Friday, but I haven't gotten around to buying the fabric yet! Urgh! I can't be bothered for it. I'm excited to socialise with my grade and purchase items, but urgh, I'm lazy. 

So much to do and buy in so little time. I'm going to have to spend so much money just for the mock interview and formal.

Happy 18th birthday Jordan!

Wow..you're 18.. I remember when first met, you were 15 going 16, it's already been two - three years, it feels so much longer! Even though we've known each other for this long, we've only been best friends for two years.. Okay, think about that, that's pretty long. I didn't even realise we spent 2010 and 2011 together!

I'm going to warn you now, this message will be pretty long, everything I've wanted to say and never said will be said here. And oh, because it's your sweet 18th too! And it's going to be everywhere, I'm typing whichever topic is coming to mind.

I remember you let me know that I'm your closest 'girlfrannn'. From then, we have drifted a bit - what the hell, we've drifted a lot! And because of that, I'm scared that I've lost that position as your closest girlfrannn, cause you're still my closest boyfrannn. I want to still be that girl who you can talk to anything about. Let's become close again yes? Yes, okay!

Even though it's a bummer, I'm actually a tad glad that you don't live near me. And that's only because I feel like we're not able to pick out each other's flaws as much, hence we won't get into so many arguments. But yes, it's also a major bummer! Come over one day! And would you pleeeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee actually show up when you give me a time to meet up?! Or at least let me know that you won't show up?! And one day, I promise you, I will go over to your place! ...only if you promise you'll pick me up from the airport! And if you promise to take me around! Oh, and give me a place to stay! And when I do, I'll have to watch wrestling with you, hey..?

Remember how we used to talk on Skype every single day? Well, I think it was every day.. But oh my gosh, I absolutely loved our conversations! They made me so happy! Oh and I still have a thing for your giggle! It's so cuteeeeee! And stop teasing me about my voice!

Your nicknames for me.. Oh my gosh, that list went on and on and on and on! My favourites were definitely Lamlam and Baby Lam! I don't know, I just love them! Especially Lamlam, because I could call you Xiexie, and it made me happy calling you that, I don't know. And our very first ones as best friends: Obba and Dongsaeng! I still call you that from time to time, but it's rare. They'll never get old though!

In 2011, I know I've been a huge brat to you, especially at one point, but I'm so grateful that you talked to me about it first and assured me that I didn't need to feel that way. You assured me that nothing and no one could take my place and that you'll never walk out on me. Those words have stuck with me till now, so don't go against them!

I'm really sorry for not being a great friend. You read me like a book. I can't read you at all. I constantly feel bad for this, and I know you'll say 'You should be!' or something along the lines of that. But yeah, I'm really sorry!

Even though we don't tell each other much of our problems now, I would still like to, but I always have to wait for you to get into your 'mood'. Heck, we don't even talk that much anymore! We talk here and there, and most of the time it's you picking on me, but I love talking to you anyway!

Your gay moments are amazing. They always make me tear up! I love them so so much, you know how to make me smile.

Jordan, if I didn't have a brother, you'd be the next closest thing. You really would be. These past two years have been amazing, being your sister and everything. But I wish you were nicer to me! Oh well, I love you heaps! Let's talk more, maintain our bond and don't ever change okay? Yeah, you're not getting a long as message next year, maybe when you're 21 and we're still best friends!

I LOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUU! ♥

And and, I better be a bride's maid! :(

Back off bitches!

I want Back Off by Jeffrey Campbell so badly! It's always looked nice to me, but oh my gosh, I want them so badly right now! They're so unique with the metal platter at the bottom! I want them so much! I blame Blackmilk for this! All their models have a pair and it's always in their photo shoots. I want Back Off's. Like now! But I won't wear them often..I just want themmm!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

What time is it? It's Summer time!

A pretty shit start to 2011's Summer though.. It was windy and pretty cold. Sydney's weather is so annoying and messed up.

I broke nothing from that fall I had at camp, but my jaw didn't stop hurting until yesterday or something, oh well!

I don't know how people balance being around two different groups of friends. It's so hard. I don't know who to go to. And both groups consist of people who I'm especially close with. And I love them just as much! I need to figure out how to balance it out so I'm not around one group too much, but I know right now, that it definitely isn't balanced. I feel really bad, I just hope that I can balance it out and be happy..

I just recently made another amendment with a relationship. Well, it was a minor one. But a relationship fixed is a relationship fixed. The thing is, I'm still holding back. I don't want to, but I know what will happen if I don't. It's too risky..

I'm not going to back off because of one person.

It's time I move on. No expectations won't hurt me. I'll just be surprised. Hopefully, with positive connotations.

Aching and confused

I just got back from camp yesterday. I still haven't completely unpacked yet, my body ached too much to unpack. My back is still killing me. 

Day 1

I woke up at 6am (a way better start than my Korea trip was), got at school at 8am. It was pretty chilly and I was only wearing a thin sweater, but oh well. Then we left at around 8:30, I think. And by the time we got to Stanwell Tops, it was completely pouring! Urgh, it was so bad. Our first meal was fish and chips, the chips were so soggy! And the fish was still a tad pink. 

We then went off to our activities, and our first one was abseiling..off a rock climbing wall. It was supposed to be an actual rock, but it was too wet and dangerous, how gay, I was actually looking forward to the real thing. And then we went off to high ropes. Oh my god, that shit is so scary! I shitted myself when going through one of the courses! But the thing I really really really hate about tthe activities was the weather, it drenched my outer sweater so badly! I couldn't wear it the next day. And it still didn't completely dry when camp was over! So I kinda stole Alan's hoodie..

Then we had some free time, dinner and trivia night. The first day was good despite the weather. And we all slept early too..

Day 2

I woke up at 6am, and up till 7am, I was in that moment when you're asleep, but you're not. I don't know, it's weird. We had breakfast at 8am (toast, sausage, eggs) then we had till 10 am till our activity, so we bummed around. I went around to the boys' room and just stayed there.

Our first activity was..Survivor. It was great fun! During Survivor, I realised how nice and mature Kevin Truong is! It was definitely one of my favourite activities! Then we went off to lunch, we had burritos, it was alright I guess. Then we went off to the Giant Swing, I didn't go on it cause I didn't really want to, but yeahh. I don't regret not going on.

Then the best part of the day: water fight! It was heaps fun! I got bucketed heaps of times though! And I got thrown in the pool a million times! Damn you Stevan and Vuong! Oh, but I stacked it so badly, main reason why my back hurts. So I was standing on concrete and Vuong was gonna shoot me, but behind him I swa Stevan running towards Vuong with a bucket, and then Stevan tackled Vuong and Vuong tackled me and I fell head first on concrete. I didn't feel it though..I mainly felt it on my ass and my jaw. I hope I didn't break anything!

We then had dinner, it was pasta, but I didn't want to eat it so I didn't. Then we had games night. Meh. It was alright. Then after that, I sat and talked with Alan, Vuong and Tony. Then we went to our rooms and I ended up sleeping at 3:30am. Oh yeah, your comment hurt me. And now cause of you, I'm all over the place.

Day 3

I'm getting lazy, so I'm gonna like be very brief. Woke up for 7:30, went to breakfast which was bacon, toast and eggs.  Then we had free time again till 10, I spent it with Alan. Went off to out last acitvity which was go karting, I diidn't go on cause my body was aching from that fall and because I didn't want to. I felt very moody and I didn't wanna be around anyone, so it was pretty shit. Oh well, it was no one's but my fault. Then  after that, we had lunch which was some egg noodle thing, I don't know. Then we went back home, and yeahhh! 

Overall, it wasn't the best camp, but it wasn't the worst. 

I'm off to see the wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!

I'm actually off to camp tomorrow. I'm kinda excited, but nervous. I don't wanna leave my Dad at home, Peter's back to working (I think). Sighhh..can't be helped. The weather is so so so bad.. It's cold and raining! I was hoping for warm weather! Cause we'll be swimming and everything! Now that will all be done in the rain.. Great.

I may or may not post while I'm there. Depends on my mood. Oh and we're going up to Stanwell Tops (should've mentioned that first!).

Sigh, I'm also going to miss Tiff a lot. I won't be able to text her cause there's no reception at the place at all, how sad. I'm going to miss that girl so much! <3

And when I come back from there, I have one night at home, then I'm off to Relay for Life. It's raining too, sighh. I can't wait for it though! I missed out on 2010's cause I had to go on my hike for Duke of Ed, I was so bummed! I hope this year's turns out to be great fun despite the weather!

Always & forever

That phrase, that one phrase, it's only meant to be said when you truly mean it. But it probably gets thrown around a lot. This phrase means a lot to me, it hits me hard with a crash of memories: happy and sad. But these memories bring back my very last happiest moment. I really would never trade anything for them. And if I had to relive those moments, I definitely would. No doubt.

But I always question myself, did I also throw this phrase around? Well, I'm still young, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I miss you.. And I hate you too. And I will kill you you bitch.

Am I that bad..? I'm sorry.

Night: destroyed.

Dilemma!

I want to be thin. Like so so so badly. But, I don't my bust to become smaller. And yeah, I know people are saying I'm already thin and everything, but I want a flatter tummy, smaller thighs and a more defined jaw line. And I can't get these without doing cardio, and if I do cardio, I will lose my bust. It's already become smaller from my previous crazy work out sessions. I guess I can wait until I stop growing and developing then lose all the excess fat hanging off my body. But that's like two - three more years! I think..girls stop developing at 18 right? I really want to keep my curves, I don't want to lose them! I'm thinking of just keeping toned and fit, so like two or three work out sessions a week? I don't know..

Oh, and just to make some things clear, I do wear a bra that fits me! Just saying, cause Manita emphasised how small my bust looked on Sunday.. But yes, my bras fit me, I do not stuff anything in them. I do have bras which are a tad too big, but I don't wear them unless it's my last resort, which is not often seeing as I have so many bras. Sighh, I'm so uncomfortable with my bust now.. And I also don't wear push ups..but I really wanna try one! They'll make my boobs look nice heheh :$

I want fat to disappear every where but my chest and backside.. I'm such a girl :$ HAHAH

I watched this video thing today at school, it reminded me of you keke I miss youuuuuu!

I went Liverpool with Tiff to give in my resumes to a few stores. I splurged $80.. I don't regret my purchases though. Pretty content. Although it was only two items.. I got a wallet from Miss Shop for $10 and a shirt/dress from Seduce for $70. It was half price okay?! And it's pretty too :D It might turn out to be my back up formal dress. Tiff got the same one but in another colour, so if I wear that, and she goes, we'll be wearing the same dress!

Waiting.

Content till now.. I don't have money for my shoes now! I might steal Tiff's shoes then..

You're right. There is no one. Ever.

After all this time

I was wrong to assume that. Maybe you are trying. Maybe you want it as much as I do. And you would have jumped at the chance. Maybe, just maybe. It hurts knowing that I'll never know how you feel. Okay, not particularly never, but it's highly unlikely I'll ever know. It's also unlikely for me to know what's going on in your life. For me to be that sister that both of us wanted for me to be. But then, a part of me refuses to lose hope. One day, everything we never had will be made up for.

I have my mock interview at school today..yayy.. I'm actually really nervous. I want to do well and I want to achieve in portraying a mature and sophisticated vibe. I don't know, that's how I am around professionals and all.

Last night I was a feast for a dear mosquito prying in my room. I got about six lovely bites from that thing. And one of the bites was on my eye.. I woke up with the most uneven eyelids I had ever had. Before school started (thank gosh I woke up earlier than usual!), I applied slices of cucumber on my eye. And that thing works wonders! Reduced the swelling so much! Although it's still a bit swollen. And I spy another mosquito asking to die. But I lost it.. Time to say hello to another night of being dinner for the mosquitoes..

Life's taking a sharp turn.

We both know if you tried, it'd be possible. Entirely possible. So why aren't you trying?

Untitled

The Kpop Festival was last night. I feel oddly normal that I didn't go. Yeah, I'm not longer and obsessed fangirl. But if it was BIGBANG/YG, I will kill myself if I wasn't there. But, that won't be happening for a loooooong while, so it's all good!

I spent the night at Tiff's and Srecko and Stevan came over as well. It was fun! We had mini bitch sessions, Tiff and I have the best bitch sessions ever! It's always nice to be with her and those boys.

And and Lily's hereeeeee! Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see her! Hopefully she'll be at Jenny's tonight! I was supposed to go out with them today, but yeah, that didn't happen.. Oh well!

Wishes and miracles

I stopped believing in this not too long ago. Maybe two years ago. From then, I never liked touching this topic because I felt the naiveness that I had. And I thought it was foolish. Foolish to believe that there could be such thing as a wish, a miracle and a 'dream come true'.

Today emphasised the number of people who still believe in wishes. The entire '11/11/11 11:11' thing. It's so stupid, no offence to those who made wishes. It's so pointless. A specific minute in life will not make your wish come true. Nothing comes true without hard work and patience. And if it does come true, it's because you made it come true or it was bound to happen anyway.

Then again, I can't deny that I do have things I wish for. But I'm not going to rely on a minute to wish for it. So, no, I don't think wishes are stupid and fake, I think 11:11 is stupid and fake.

Remembrance Day 2011

To those who sacrificed what could never have been taken back for the rest of the world. Taking part of the war which ended all wars. Lest we forget.

You still have't given me what you stole. I returned your's already.

I'm gonna use random titles like that now. It isn't personal.

Well, I'm in bed at the moment texting Tiff. We've grown a lot closer lately, although we were previously close, and I can't ask for anything more. This girl knows almost everything about me. We bitch to each other about everything! I'm so glad to have her in my life. She knows how to make me smile and brighten my day. My relationship with her's is one I can definitely see as a part of my future. No doubt. I could never and would never let her go, she means too much to me! I love her so much! The best friend and sister I could ever ask for! <3

I should be sleeping earlier, but I don't want to. And classes are boring and pointless now, so it's okay to sleep in class (A)

Camp's coming up in two weeks! I can't wait! It's gonna be so much fun! Three days to just escape everything. Kinda.

My Mum's going Vietnam next Tuesday and doesn't return until the 20th of December. I'm gonna miss her so much! And her cooking! I absolutely love her cooking! I absolutely love her too but! She's going to visit Grandma. I hope Grandma's in good shape, I haven't seen her for ten years. I want to see her before I can't..

I feel jealous towards those who are close to their grandparents. Or even just know them.. I never knew mine. On my Dad's side, they both passed away long before I was born. I really want to meet my Grandma (Dad's) because everyone says I looks exactly like her. There's no difference between us at all. And my Grandpa (Mum), I've seen him once and that was when I was two, so I have no memory of him at all. Only memories I can dig up are those captured through a camera and were printed out. Other than that, I know nothing of him at all. It really saddens me thinking about my grandparents..I hope they're resting well and that my Grandma (Mum's) is doing well. I love you Grandma and Grandpa <3

So saying that, I get really annoyed when people disregard/disrespect their grandparents. They have no idea what they're missing out on.. I would love to have my grandparents with me. What they have, I can't have..ever. The fact that you know your grandparents is a wonderful thing. And the thing is, we're aware that they don't have much time left, so I wish everyone would just make the most of the time that they are blessed with.

11/11/11..everyone is making a big deal about it. All cause they want to make a 11:11 wish.. No offence, but I find that stupid. Maybe cause I don't believe in 11:11. And hey, it's Remembrance Day. Should be thanking those who died saving us..

Yeah!

School Certificate is over! It's so pointless and stupid! It doesn't even go anywhere. Seriously! I guess the exam papers were okay. Some trial papers were easier for me, and vice versa. Oh well, I'm just glad it's over. Now I don't have anything to really stress over which relates to education. Well, I have tutor and Maths roll over classes, but that's it.

Life's boring, but it's not boring at the same time. It's no longer a linear path, I fall down, but I get back up.

I'm falling a lot though. And I'm running back to those who aren't here.

I miss you you big bullying gronk.

The best day yet

Yesterday was the best day. I was with Tiff the whole day. She brightens my days so much. I first went Bau Truong with her and I had Hu Tieu Xao. Freakin' yummmmmmmm! Then we went Liverpool and looked for shoes, yeah, no luck. Then we went back to her place and everyone else came (everyone as in Stevan, Srecko, Vuong, Alan). Such a fun night! :D I love being around them, they can make me so happy! Even though they drink, and I don't, I always manage to have heaps of fun.

I miss you. Like a lot.

Gonna spend the day with Tiff again, so yeahhh! :D

The three musketeers

Untitiled

I should have said this in yesterday's post, but I've recently made amendments in my life. Specifically, a relationship with someone. Someone who I was once extremely close to and ended on extremely bad terms. It feels odd to be talking to them again. I'm not entirely used to it. I always thought that I could never ever speak a word to them again, I was wrong. But like everyone says, time heals everything. A part of me is still unsure about it though. A part of me finds it hard to forgive entirely.

I've been complaining about how bored I am with my life a lot. Yes, I am bored of it. Extremely bored. All I ever do is go school, study, work out and occasionally have parties. That's it. I know what I need to make me life exciting. A boy. I know, I said I don't want a love interest, but hey, it doesn't mean that he's going to be my love interest. Even a best friend who can make me smile constantly will be fine. Then again, I know it's risky. Becoming close to any boy is. And I know that if a boy does walk in, I'll be happy. And then I'll fall harder than I usually would.

Oh well, I'm walking on a linear path, no detours, no road blocks. My state of 'happiness' is neutral, nothing is paining me, so I guess that's a good thing. I'm happy with the way my life is, but I'm not satisfied. And hey, I do have a male best friend who I can turn to, that's all that counts.

My formal attire is piecing together slowly. I just have to be patient with everything. I hope it goes the way I want it to.

My plans on investing in an SLR this year is most likely heavily delayed. Too many things have popped up which have cause my family to spend money on. It's pretty sad. I want to save up as much as I can and my parents can pay the rest.

I really hope I get a job ASAP. I need money desperately. I'm sick of asking my parents for money all the time. I'm growing up now, I need my own money. Then again, senior year's just around the corner, and I'll have no time at all. Sighh..

Untitiled

So Malika slept over for two nights. It was nice to spend time with her since I don't that often, especially not any one on one time. It was pretty fun! :) We fell asleep on each other though HAHAH

So, I went to volunteer again, as usual. And this time, I picked up two items. Both totalling at $13 which was such a bargain! Especially for the shorts!

Tres Beau hot pink blouse for $8

Minkpink (yes, Minkpink!) high waisted denim shorts for $5. I was so happy to see these! They are amazing!

After this, we went straight to Sam's for her and Kelvin's 16th party. Heaps of fun! I loved it! It was different as well cause we have a number of guys we didn't have in our previous parties, but it was really fun to have them.

Then today, Malika and I just bummed around HAHAH :)

Untitiled

Yeah, I know my title is spelt incorrectly. But meh.

So, along with April and Sarah I got the chance to participate in a photo session for the local newspaper. So yay! We were dressed up in hanboks and were asked about our trip to Korea. Man, April tightens the hanbok so tightly.. It hurt so much.. Anyway, here are some photos!

She looks so elegant in it!

And of course, she looks amazing!

Hehehehehhe

HAHAH <3

Cutie!

I looooooove this photo!

It's been playing on my mind for a while, but I've finally realised that I don't want to be romantically involved. It just seems so stressful, and I don't know, I don't need that stress and I'm content with the way my life's going..not really, but yeah. It's kinda starting to bother me when certain people emphasise that I don't have a love interest and all that. But yeah, whatever, high school relationships are really..unreal.

Formal is doing me in the head! I have two options in mind. I can spend money on a dress which I keep laying my eyes on, it's perfect! Like perfect! I want it so much! Or I can choose to save money and just stick with an LBD I have and dress it up with a few touches. I don't know..I want the dress, but it's so expensive.. And what if I don't look good in it?!

Jordan, I miss you! We need to talk. I was going to talk to you just then, but you went off. Fag. I miss the times we talked everyday! You're still my 'obba' nonetheless hehe <3 I would start conversations with you more often, but heck, I'm lazy HAHAH! But yeah, I miss you heaps! I hope you're doing well, and everything is all well too.

The heat here is increasing so badly, it's getting so freakin' hot! And it's gonna be hotter tomorrow! Urghhh! I love summer, but I hate it. Oh well, what the hell, perfect weather for beach!

Anyway, I had a good day today. I was feeling pretty dead all day though. But, it was worth it, hehe :D <3

Untitled

Formal is doing me in the head. I can't seem to find a perfect dress. I'm ordering one, but I'm unsure on how well it will fit me. So yeah, I'm completely bummed about that. I had another attire in mind with a dress I already have, but it requires a blazer to be complete, and it's way too hot for a blazer. Sigh, I hope the dress I order works out for me.

I miss the Korean students so much! Especially Eun Jeong! Ahhh! I miss Korea so much. I want to go back so badly!

I'm slacking off a lot. In every single aspect of my damn life. Urgh, I have to get back.

Anyway, there's an issue really bugging me. It doesn't directly affect me, but, shit, it's really heart breaking. You may have heard it, or may have not, but there was a toddler in China who was run over twice and not one person stopped to take a look at her. And it wasn't until 10 minutes later, that someone did. It's disgusting. How can you not look back at a toddler lying on the street with blood surrounding her? How is that possible? And how is it possible to run over a freakin' human obliviously? Seriously?

Society is so messed up.

Formal dresses

So I was rummaging through my wardrobe for a suitable formal dress. Yeah, I got a few picked out. But, i really want a new one.. So I went on ASOS, and found a few really cute ones. I want them. But the only thing stopping me is the risk of it not entirely fitting me, the fact that I do want to lose weight (progress is really not going well, I'm too much of a fat arse) and knowing it might not fit me later on and so on so forth.

I know most people won't like this dress, but I really don't care. I love it! I really really would love it for my formal! Buuut..it's $180. So, yeah, really bummed about that.

This is was the second dress that caught my attention. It gives off a Greek goddess kind of vibe and it's really simple too.

This one caught my eye too. It's just something you wouldn't expect someone to rock up in for a formal.

Once again, extremely unique. Something people wouldn't expect me to wear. Price burns though, $120.

Very edgy, yet classy. I like.

Both pictures are of one dress if you haven't realised. Unlike the other dresses, what really bought me was the back of this dress. I did not expect an open back for this dress at all! I really really like it! But yes, it does look kind of casual. But hey, it's possible to work it as a formal.

Really simple, yet cute. I don't know, something just drew me to it. This is one I'll never afford though, $195

I still want to talk to you.

Untitled

Yeah, I'm not bothered to write about Korea anymore. My experience is similar to April and she's doing a day to day one (http://dead-error.blogspot.com/), so yeah, just head over there!

Nothing really exciting in my life right now.. So yeahh, I won't post anything life-relating anytime soon. I might, but yeah.

The days in Seoul! ..cause I'm lazy to write abotu Jeju.

The trip to Korea was amazing! I will definitely go back one day! I'll write it day by day and try to remember as much as possible HAHA

Day 1

I woke up for 5:15am and the bus was scheduled to leave at 5:30am, so yeah. Bad start. I realised I forgot my clips, but it wasn't an essential so s'all good. Oh, I forgot my school cap too. But I was provided with another one so yeah. I was dead tired. When we got to the airport, we were all hungry and went to hunt for food. I ended up only getting a mocha cause everything else was too heavy for a breakfast. The weather slowly got warmer, and I was wearing a sweater only.. So yeahh, it was really hot.

When we finally boarded the plane, the excitement didn't hit any of us yet. And the plane trip was hell, it was so long! I spotted cute boys from Moss Vale, but I kept it to myself at first cause I didn't want there to be like a lot of commotion..yet. Julie was feeling sick the whole time, poor baby :( She slept most of the way, and didn't eat.

When we landed in Seoul, the excitement kind of hit us. Incheon airport is so nice! When you flush the toilets, it's so scary HAHAH! Mmm, the hotel was really nice. Like really really nice. We were separated into two rooms: 707 and 708. We were down the hall from Moss Vale (A)

Day 2

Breakfast was bleh, wasn't that nice. We went to this mountain where we can overlook North Korea. We had lunch near there. Lunch was decent. There was a cosmetics shop near, so I bought Tonymoly Appletox Honey Cream and face masks. Then we went to a couple of museums. Pretty boring. We bummed around more than anything since we were lazy.

Then we went Lotte Worldddddddddddddddddd! We were so excited! Definitely the highlight of the trip! We went on the Viking twice, a water ride and the French Revolution twice. Viking was heaps fun! SO was the French Revolution. When we were lining up for it, the Moss Vale boys waved, smiled and winked at us, so we got all high after that HAHA

That night, we 708 girls crashed 707 and we called the Moss Vale boys. We called like three times before saying anything. On the fourth go, we apologised and were just going to end the call, but they kept it going, so yeahh. What happened in the call, I will not say. HAHA

Day 3

That day was our last day in Seoul. Pretty bummed, we wanted another day. I didn't eat much breakfast. It was ewww.. I sat on a seat which allowed me to see the boys, and they kept on looking at us. Not even a wave! :( I was waiting for one from Camo AHAH :( Mmm, after breakfast, we were all on the first floor and waiting for the bus. Moss Vale boys looked at us again, blah blah.

We went to the kingdom place, it was really nice! :) Then we went to the Folk Village, the place was really nice too. We had lunch there too. Had Bulgogi again. By then, I was so sick of beef. I only went with April, cause the others disappeared somewhere HAAH Oh, and we also found out Moss Vale was going to be on the same flight home as us. Yayy HAHA

After that, we jetted off to Gimpo airport. It was nerve wracking knowing that I was going to be with Eun Jeong's family. But hey, they were super nice! Yeahh..there's be at least 2 more posts of Korea. So yeahh!

I'm lazy now :)

Did ya miss me?!

I'm still in Jeju Island, at Eun Jeong's place. It's been an amazing experience so far! Loved every minute of it! I only have a few days left then it's back to Aussie I go! I miss home so much. My Mum's cooking. My room. My family. My friends. :-(

I've been meaning to post, but we've been out a lot and I've gotten tired, so yeahhh. Just a quickie today cause I'm on my phone..in bed :-D 

I'll post a proper one as soon as I hit my home in a not-so-lazy mood :-)

Update!

I just got back from Katie's BBQ and while I was there, I realised that it had been agesssssss since we all gathered together. Not everyone was there, but it felt really nice to be with everyone else outside of school. It was super fun! All our childish games played after such a loong time, definitely a nice feeling! I hope we'll be able to have a gathering with everyone soon!

Senior year's just around the corner and we will be crammed up for time and there'll be less gatherings. And people have tutor, work and study sessions and all that. Sigh, time's going by pretty quickly. It just seems like a few days ago that it was New Year at Phi's place! And, now a few more months, we'll be having another party!

Urghhh..I gained weight. Like so much of it. I'm such a blob now. And what a time to gain weight! Summer's around the freakin' corner! Mmm, going to re-motivate myself and lose the weight again. I'm able to resist myself from jumping at the chance of junk food, so that's a good start to my diet. I hope I can keep it consistent, if not, there's no freakin' point in doing this. I'm not going to completely push myself though. I'm scared to lose my assets.

I'm going Korea on Monday! I don't feel excited though. Not yet anyway. I haven't packed yet. And like, I don't know what to pack. It's like early-ish Autumn over there, so the weather's going to vary a lot.

I may or may not post later today, so this may be my last post for the next 10 days! Not like anyone reads this anyway.. HAHA

Tagged!

Things I'm insecure about/dislike about myself

1. My weight. I am crazy insecure about it. I'm not a stick thin girl. I never have been. I got fat sticking out of places I don't want it to to be. And under this, there are many things I'm insecure about, which will be listed down there. :)
2. My tummy. It's not flat. And everything I eat goes straight to there..unfortunately.. Oh, oh and it's really really pale.. :| :(
3. My legs, they are beyond stubby! So short *sniff sniff This is an odd insecurity though, I'm insecure, but I'm still able to wear dresses, skirts and shorts.
4. My arms. Oooh, they fat. I want to tone them.
5. My nose..it's big. 
6. My head shape..it's big *sniff sniff
7. I'm a really awkward person.. HAHAH
8. I can't mess around to the point of extreme immaturity, so it's hard for me to get along with some people.
9. The fact I'm a money spender.
10. I have really bad temper.
11. I throw people death stares unconsciously. Yeahh..that's pretty bad.. :( At least I used to, I'm unsure now, but I'm still trying to look at people and smile HAHAH!
12. There are loads more. I just can't be bothered to name them all.

Things I'm satisfied with

1. The amount of muscle I've gained within my body. I've been toning my body, so, the muscles are developing on my arms and legs. Mainly my thighs though.
2. My nails, they shape's pretty :$
3. The fact that I have something in the chest area. HAHAH! And it's not too big either. (A) :D
4. My eyelashes, they're long and curly hehe ^^
5. I've been told I have a nice smile? Yeahh.. HAHAH
6. I'm not socially awkward. Yayy! :D So yeah, I love meeting new people!
7. My maturity level to an extent.
8. I've been told that my sense of style is really out there and unique, so I'm glad for that :)
9. My face shape, it has potential to be defined well. I like my jawline too :$ HAHA

Things I'm insecure about, yet glad I have it

Okay, it isn't that big, but I'm a tad glad that I wasn't born stick thin. Cause it kinda gives me that challenge of losing weight and altering my outer appearance to my desire. Yeah, sure it will be hard work, but it all pays off in the end does it not? I know this isn't much, but yeahhh.. Can't wait to be thin..

Okay, so I'm going to change this tag a bit, and write about what I think about appearance, inner beauty and that cliche stuff.

I would love to be pretty. I would love to be complimented on how I look. Everyone does. I think it's important to look groomed. You're going to be judged in every single direction in life. So why not make the most out of it and make it 'seem' like you're civilised? Taking a few moments out of life to make yourself look decent doesn't change much of your routine.

And there's this idea that being thin means looking good. I'm not gonna lie, I push myself to want to be thin cause I do think it's pretty. But it's not always the case. Some people are 'bigger' and they look just as beautiful. Having a little muffin top won't hurt. Having mini love handles won't either. But, like everything else, there's got to be a limit. Because being too 'big' will cause health problems. But, this is something that can be changed. Starting with half an hour a day of basic walking could help even.

And of course, there are those little features that are impossible to change. Learn to love 'em, that's all you can do! And don't whinge about them, it's gets annoying to other people.

Anywayyy, you can look freakin' amazing, but you may just have the ugliest heart. And when an ugly heart is visible, what is evident to the eyes is no longer a pretty picture. Yes, it is cliche, but it is true, you can't be pretty if you don't act like someone who's pretty. And when I say 'act like someone who's pretty', I don't mean the I-know-I'm-the-prettiest-bitch-here and all that attitude, I mean the real beauty. The humble, considerate, generous, kind one.

Yeah, this is my take on this section of life. If I could sum this up in a few sentences it'd be this:

Love what you've been blessed with. Alter those which you're unable to love. And without a pretty heart, all the hard work will go to waste.

What to do today

Moon Festival is today. Urgh. I hate this day of the year. I wasn't going to go, but there's not much to do at home anyway. And there's fooooooooooood! :)

I'm still wondering whether to go to Star City or not. I want to, but it's so expensive. And I'm so freakin' lazy! And I don't even know if my parents will let. I got told by my Dad last night cause I was PMS-ing. Urgh. Well, I couldn't help it okay?!

I'm so lazy. I don't wanna go anywhere! :( But I want to get out of the house..

TOTM, you're annoying. Piss off :(

Infinity and beyooooooond! keke!

100 little facts you may or may not know about me! :

1. I am currently obsessed with velvet, collars, chiffon, studs and pops of colours
2. Late night phone calls are the best! Ones that drag on for hours especially. I miss them.. :(
3. In the future, if I ever break up with a person, I want to end it on good terms. Like in the movies, how they hug each other afterwards. It's nice.
4. I wish, one day, I would be able to express my feelings to the one I have feelings for face to face without having any fear. Yes, like in the movies.
5. I know fairy tales endings aren't true, but I still believe in them.
6. I believe you only need family and friends to be happy. Maybe food. HAHAH :$
7. I casually linked my arms with a male friend a few weeks ago. Always wanted to do that! Only holding hands left. :)
8. I'm neither a realist nor a dreamer. There are times when I'm forced to jump from one to the other.
9. Refusing to date isn't such a bad thing.
10. I flirt. Yeah, so what?
11. Even though I don't talk to Jordan much anymore, I still consider him my best friend. Even if he doesn't.
12. I still take Jordan's remark of having to talk to my future boyfriend before I can say anything in mind. Even though he said it'd be weird for the guy. No, Jordan, I'm not sucking up to you.
13. I wish I was able to kiss a male friend on the cheek without them freaking out or it meaning anything. Too bad the guys here are too immature for that..
14. I refuse to let anyone carry be cause I know I'm heavy. But obviously, some people still do. *glares* Oh, and I get kind of scared as well. Maybe cause I'm not used to it. But yeahhh. But I have to admit, it's quite nice being carried HAHAH!
15. I hate the word 'fat'. Yeah, long story. Kinda. Might post about it when I feel like it. I don't mind it when you're messing with friends though.
16. I love it when you don't talk to someone you used to be extremely close to for a loooooooooong time and when you do, you pick off from exactly where you left off.
17. I also love it when you don't talk to someone much, but when you're in some sort of trouble, they'll always be there for you.
18. I still don't know how to ride a bike. Cause that's how I roll ;)
19. I don't like it when people post about their problems on Facebook. Like, bitch, shut up.
20. Oh, and I hate it when people post things about being so love sick. Shut up. Urgh.
21. Oh oh, and I also hate it when people mention things you really don't want others to know about. Just shut up if you don't want anyone to know. Jeez.
22. I'm able to make up with my parents in under an hour. Cause no matter how much we argue, we'll always talk it out, and laugh about it afterwards.
23. I can admit that I'm a bitch. Call me a slut or a whore, however, and die. Buut, Putijak that faggot just started calling me this, so I guess I don't mind it when it's a joke within friends.
24. My self esteem isn't as low as everyone thinks it is. I might make a post on this as well, I don't know.
25. I used to trust people really easily, and now? It takes me a gazillion years.
26. I used to be easy to figure out as well. Now, I don't know. That's up to you to figure out.
27. I used to be able to consider people as my best friend quite easily as well. Yeah, not anymore.
28. Love at first sight is a bunch of shit.
29. To me, teenage loves are usually flings, but there are exceptions.
30. Jealousy is an issue. I get jealous really easily.
31. Two years ago I still believed in magic and miracles. Now? Not so much.
32. I never drink medicine when I'm sick. Gosh, I've got to start..
33. I really don't care about what people think of how I dress. If I like it, I'll walk out the door. I get comments on what I wear a lot. Good and bad. But meh.
34. I'm a hugeeeeeeeeee money spender. Like a huge money spender.
35. When something's wrong with a person, I don't really mind if they tell me or not. Yeah, I might post about this as well.
36. I am really weak towards the cold. Even with layers on, I'm still shivering my arse off.
37. I want a relationship where it's okay to step up as the..dominant role, I guess you could say. Like, I want to be able to lend my boy my jacket and everything without him being so ashamed and all that. Even with friends.
38. I reckon blonde hair always looks good when styling, especially braids.
39. If I were to dye my hair, and I had long hair, I would dip dye it a red or a royal blue.
40. I like being in charge, but I don't like it as well.
41. I used to be really naive. Like really naive.
42. I used to fall for people easily.
43. Now, I don't know cause I haven't liked anyone in a while. And I like it like this.
44. I do not like being deemed as 'boy crazy'
45. I'm on good terms with, I guess you could call them the 'rebellious' group, and allowing my usual group to see me with them intimidates me. I don't know why, I get an odd vibe. I still love you girls though! :$ Yeah, it only comes from the girls.
46. I overreact a lot.
47. In maths, I tend to make problems seem far more complicated than they really are. Bad habit..
48. My friends say that I'm really mature. Yeah, I don't think I am. I still have a lot to learn,
49. I can't wait to get my new phone. I'm going to text a lot. And I already know who I'm going to text 24/7 :3
50. If I could rewind my life, I would learn some sort of dance. Preferably either hip hop or ballet. Oh and possibly gymnastics as well.
51. When I eat fatty foods, it goes straight to my tummy and not so much of my thighs anymore. They're full of muscle 8D
52. I feel so bad after I eat junk..I feel like working out straight away. But yeah, that doesn't happen. HAHA
53. I wouldn't care if the most embarrassing photo of me was put up on Facebook. The only time I would delete it would be when I look fat or if it gives me a bad image AHAH
54.  Foods I can tolerate that majority of people can't are bitter melons and celeries. I can't think of anything else.
55. I find a lot of things cute. Don't ask me why, I just do.
56. Unlike some people, I find it a huge burden when people like me. Not so much if I can return them, even thoough they do have its cons. But if I can't, I really don't want to hurt that person and all. Then again, no one likes me so, s'all good!
57. I was the biggest tom-boy when I was younger. Yeah, a part of me still is.
58. Growing up, I thought that girls should never be the ones to chase the boy. And I always used to, hence my self esteem got dragged down so badly.
59. I don't really care about what people think of me. I mean I do, but I don't. Get it? Yeah, I don't either.
60. I have a teaspoon with Minnie Mouse on it from when I was a baby. I still use it and I won't let my parents throw it out HAHA
61. I have a big head..I hate it.
62. I have dried fruit in my room, so whenever I want to snack, I'll always have it in arm's reach.. :$ Cause I'm lazy like that!
63. I wish I were able to just have my arms around a male. Even with a friend. It'd be so nice.
64. If I were to cry, I'd want to cry in my (best) friend's arms. It would be nice if we were lying down as well. I don't know, I can't explain it, there was a scene where Blair and Serena (Gossip Girl) did it!
65. I'm able to freely compliment people of the opposite sex without it meaning anymore than it does. So if guy looks nice, I'll be able to say it to them. Guys I know.
66. I want to experience the 'running and jumping on you' hug. 
67. I want to be able to mess around with my partner. Like physically. No, not sex.
68. There's only one person I can freely hold hands with - Tifferny! :) I can link arms and all with other girls, but yeah.
69. I feel like I annoy people really easily. Like really easily..
70. I'm really insecure about my body. But I think everyone knows that.
71. I'm really intimate. Don't ask me why. I just am.
72. If you won't tell me your life story, I won't tell you mine. I don't know, even if I want to, I won't.
73. I'm not into the whole party/clubbing scene.
74. I love make up. Yet I hate wearing it. I don't know. I feel so damn caked wearing make up.
75. If I was confident with my body, I would wear things that are daring..without a problem.
76. There are times when I restrict myself from going all retarded cause I feel paranoid that people give me weird looks and aren't used to it. Even towards my closest friends. Not Julie though. I'm a weirdo with her :')
77. Late night talks in the dark! <3 *looks at Julie keke!
78. I would love to have a sleep over with girls and boys without it being such a big fuss.
79. Comfortable silences are the best! I always have these with Julie ;3
80. I'm really open..like oddly open. There's this girl I know, I've seen her twice, and I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She gave me and odd look and laughed HAAHAH :3
81. 79 only applies to certain issues. I don't share my personal life with everyone though.Then again, I barely talk about it.
82. I love going to Julie's place after school. We usually sit/lie there and talk or just in a comfortable silence.
83. I love DNM's (deep and meaningful's). I don't have many, but I have them, and they are usually the best!
84. I love boys who have a soft side! A feminine one even! :$ 
85. I'm able to interfere with my feelings whenever they develop for someone
86. I love it when you just look into your friend's eyes and you burst out laughing cause you know exactly what they're thinking.
87. I have no female relatives who are around my age. Who can speak English fluently. Who live in Sydney. Unless you count Julie, Cindy and Jenny. Cause they're somewhat my distant cousins. And I just found out this year! After like years of knowing each other and spending every weekend with each other HAHA
88. I've never met my grandparents on my Dad's side. The last time I saw my Grandpa my Mum's side was 13 years ago, and it was 10 years for my Grandma. I can't see my Grandpa anymore, and if I want to see my Grandma..I don't know when I will.. Hence, I really envy people who know they grandparents.
89. I really want a younger sibling! And an older sister!
90. I really like making new friends! Old or young, love'em all! :)
91. I'm not used to being complimented. It still takes me by surprise.
92. Media got to me at a very young age. It made me extremely insecure about my looks. Getting criticised as a kid didn't help either.
93. I used to be really caught up in love. I used to have all these wonders about walking on the beach at sunset and everything, just like any other girl. Now, I don't really care.
94. I'm starting to have a image of my future. I want to be do something in the communication department. If not, I want to open up my own photography business.
95. I haven't hugged my brother in yonks! The next probable time we will is probably when I graduate.. Man! Sucks! :(
96. I sleep walk and talk. For the past few nights, I've slept walked. Before this, last time I slept walked was four years ago. I'm not sure about the last time I slept talked though.
97. A lot of people say I don't look Vietnamese and Chinese. I get mistaken for being Korean, Japanese and sometimes half-caste.
98. I look older than I really am. And I do it unintentionally. It reaaaally sucks!
99. I'm not that sporty, but I absolutely love swimming. I can't give it up even though my shoulders getting broader from the strokes..the strokes that I like..
100. I'm a huge bookworm. I love reading cause it opens a pathway for me to escape from reality. Romance novels - yay! :)

Oh my gosh, I'm freakin' done! After a month of going back and forth editting this. I'm doooooooooneeeee! YAYAYYA! It was so hard to think of 100 facts! :( And be happy Putijak! I was going to abandon this! HAHA!

Untitled

Rock Eisteddfod was last night. Was super fun! And tiring. The camera battery acted up when the performance started..so there are not photos of the actual performance. So sad. I'm still pretty bummed about that.. And it looked freakin' amazing as well! My gosh! Spent 17 hours with my fags as friends, I'd like to do that again one day, this time without teacher supervision. But, obviously that won't be happening until we graduate. I anticipate that day! I love spending hours and hours with friends!

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss having Peter at home. I barely see him now. There are times I go days without seeing him. And we live in the same house. It feels so odd. He's always at work, uni or out and I'm either at school or I'm out. Only time we're both home is like late at night or early in the morning..when we're both asleep.. I'm starting to miss his presence.

Mmm, I woke up with my TOTM. Too much information? I don't care (A) I guess it's getting back on track now. I'm relieved, but I don't want it. It's so annoying!

I still haven't gotten better yet. I wanted to work out today. But no..got my freakin' TOTM along with being sick. There is no way I'm going to work out. fhsidfsjik! It's been so freaking long! I'm going to gain my weight back! :(

I'm still deciding whether to go to Star City tomorrow or not. I want to, but gosh, I feel so damn lazy.. It's either Star City or spending the day with Julie..

Hmm, got volunteering in like two and a half hours. Some of the girls are going to join me, so I hope it'll be fun! And we're going to go to V Lounge afterwards to eat. Yayayayayay!

Summer's just around the corner

And I'm not ready for it. I feel like such a blob right now. I haven't been working out cause I've been sick for who knows how long. And I've been junking out because I can. I regret it so much!

I only have a few months to get back into decent shape. I can't lose that much weight. I don't want to. I want to take it slowly-ish. I really hope I can get into decent shape.

Anyway, my headache's killing me. I have to get going to tutor in like five minutes. And I'm sitting here blogging.

Rock Eisteddfod's in two days. Shoot me. I'm going to be so tired. And my headache, blocked nose and itchy throat will all be accompanying me.

I've been dehydrated a lot lately as well.

I love you

These three words - I remember throwing them around. I remember that stage when people got together and said it right away. Now that I look back, it's really absurd. I mean I was so young, and I still am, but I threw this phrase around so much. Everyone did.

I remember when Jordan first got with Erika, he didn't say it until their first month or something. I thought it was weird. I mean, you're with them, how can you not love them? And tell them you love them? Isn't that the sole purpose of being with someone? Having to love them?

Now, I know that it isn't. Well, it is, but not at this age. Because at this age everyone is dating someone becuase they think they love them. Because at this age, no one really knows the true definition of love.

I don't even know what it means to love someone as more than a friend. All I did was 'like' and 'care'. And until I feel different towards that one person, I'll say it. But that's not going to be for a while, cause, to me, right now, love's a bunch of shit.

Okay, not really, I like love. Especially Jordan and Erika's. But I'm not ready and I'm not interested in it.

Lazy day-ish

I pretty much had a lazy day today..kinda.

I went to volunteer at Salvo's and I saw Miss Vu. It was kind of awkward at first when she didn't see me. When she saw me, it was all good. I was pretty surprised that she recognised me. She called me a good girl (A) HAHA

The people who I work with are extremely nice! I'm really quiet when I'm around them cause I'm the youngest and all. I'm the youngest by quite a lot. And this girl, her name's Amy, she said she'll get me out of my shell in a few weeks time. They're going to regret bringing me out (A) I'm going to be so retarded.. It made me smile when she said that though!

Urgh, I still haven't gotten better from my sickness.at all! And when I'm sick, I tend to let myself go in terms of working out and eating healthy. Yeah, I've been eating so much junk! :(

Sick..

I still haven't recovered from being sick.. And it just got a million times worse today. My headache hasn't left me since forever. My throat's been killing me since this morning. My nose has been runny all day.

I want to sleep. But I want to finish my homework and I have something to sort out as well..urgh.

Blast!

I was meaning to post this on Sunday night, but I was dead tired. And I couldn't be bothered every other day. But on Sunday was when Tifferny celebrated her 16th. It was so much fun! And I didn't even drink!

When everyone else came (I came super early to go and get the cake and all), I realised that that night, would have been the one night I would be able to get a different 'scenery'. I mean, I love my default group, but it's nice to be with other people.

Well, yeah, had loads of fun. Oh, and while everyone was taking shots, I was just standing there on ebuddy talking to Alan (that fag went home early!) and eating my spring rolls.I'm so g aren't I?! HAHA, nahh, I wasn't allowed to. Tiff and Mehmet didn't let me. But oh well, I looked drunk cause I went red anyway (A)

I also realised that there are a handful of people who do look out for me. Even if we don't talk much. And we pick on each other every single time we see each other.

Jerikaaaaaaa!

Happy 21 months Jordan and Erika! Love you two very much! Glad you had an amazing night! :')

Sick. Tired. Should sleep soon.

I. Am. So. Tired.

I'm constantly yawning, I have abdominal and chest pain and I feel like slob at the moment. I seriously have got to work out tomorrow.

I had Rock Eisteddfod meeting today from lunch time, which was like 1PM, all the way till 5:30PM. I literally went crazy running from chracter to character. Okay, not really. But yeah, it was tiring. And the make up that the seniors did, were, no offence, but it was horrible. I don't want to make myself seem like I'm good at make up, cause, no, I suck, but no one liked their make up at all.. And they claimed that they were 'professional' and that it looked pretty.

Oh, and they tried to insult me in Vietnamese, thinking I didn't understand. Meh.

It's been a while since I left this post open. I'm still tired.